HD: As you know, the football is on the other channel.
JO: I'm sorry to say that it is mostly the blacks.
RB: Hello, I'm John Prescott, and I expect you're wondering why I'm naked.
HD: I think our policies are best expressed...in song!
JB: During the next three and a half hours...
RB: Now, look. We all know we're not going to win...
JO: Death to the west.
HD: Let me tell you what the voices in my head are telling me.
Things You'd Never Hear a French Person Say
FB: Of course, it looked hopeless, but we kept fighting.
HD: I'd like a bottle of Burgundy and a Dairylea Dunker, please.
AM: You're English. How nice to meet you.
JB: J'aime beaucoup, Monsieur Jeremy Clarkson.
FB: I've just bought a wonderful little holiday home in the south of Birmingham.
JO: My favourite road? Well, that's got to be the A303. Nice, in many ways. It's quicker than the M4 and you get to go past Stonehenge. If you're going London to the west country, it's A303 for me every time. What a road. What a road.
RB: And we throw that part of the animal away.
What the Voices in Tony Blair's Head Are Saying
AM: [Dalek voice] You will obey! You will obey!
FB: Keep smiling. (Have Gordon killed.) Keep smiling. (Have Gordon killed.)
RB: Cherie, will you shut the fuck up?
HD: Oh look, there's Cherie. That reminds me, I must post a letter.
JO: I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny...
JB: I wonder what John Prescott looks like in hot pants.
HD: Mustn't get a stiffy.
AM: Dammit! Got a stiffy.
HD: Go on, lie. You got away with it last time.
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