The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the fifth episode of the first series.
Bad Things To Say On Stage At Live 8
- FB: They've put a lovely spread on backstage - lobster, (starting to laugh) caviar...!
- HD: Let's not cancel debt - let's consolidate it into one manageable loan.
- RB: I'm Michael Howard, and this is my rap for Africa.
- JB: Whingeing Africans, eh?
- JO: Hands up who finds Fairtrade bananas a little dear?
- DM: A lot of people complained that there are no ethnic minorities in this gig, but no, here they are - the Black and White Minstrel Show!
What the Voices In Prince Charles' Head Are Saying
- FB: Charles, this is the plants. You've betrayed us again! We're going to kill your new wife too!
- RB: If I really am the father... why is he so stupid?
- DM: How much would it cost to turn Windsor Castle bouncy?
- FB: Kill a swan - they can't touch you for it.
- HD: The Nazi uniform, now that was funny.
- FB: So what if she's your mother? Just press the pillow over her face and count to 100.
Inappropriate Things To Say On Winning Wimbledon
- RB: Mr, Blair, this is for Iraq!
- HD: 3 sets, no smell? That's Palmolive.
- JO: Thanks very much, but I've actually come here to talk to you about Jesus.
- JB: That nandrolone's great stuff, innit?
- HD: This is fantastic; in some way, it compensates for my lost childhood, my dysfunctional family, and the fact I'm so stressed I haven't had a period for seven years!
- DM: To be honest, I only won because I'm pissed!
- RB: (using a deep voice) I'm delighted to have won... put all the drug rumours behind me, and I'd just like to thank my husband for sticking with me.
- DM: It's been... everything's been amazing, apart from the crowd who are a bunch of arseholes, and I wish they'd stop trying to share in what is essentially my triumph.
- FB: I just got a blowjob in the dressing room from a Womble!