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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 19
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13
Full list of scenarios

Series 20
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

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The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the fifth episode of the eleventh series.

Key

  • HD – Hugh Dennis
  • AP – Andy Parsons
  • MJu – Miles Jupp
  • CA – Chris Addison
  • JW – Josh Widdicombe
  • MJo – Milton Jones

Topics

Things You Won't Hear At The Olympics

AP - Very impressive. Usain Bolt has done a lap of honour and won the 400 metres as well.

HD - So Daley going for 3 1/2 Somersault with Pike. And I have to say, the pike doesn't look too happy about it.

MJo - Good morning, no surprises here at the final of the archery--- (falls down)

MJu - Victoria Pendleton's cycling incredibly fast at the moment due to trying to get away from a horny Boris Johnson.

JW - She was hoping for bronze, but sadly for Sue Barker, she is bright orange.

AP - I would like to apologise for my early mistake. We are in fact watching the javelin, and not as I said, "Dwarf Darts".

CA - And all of the sailing golds have gone to the Somali team in exchange for the safe return of Sir Steve Redgrave.

MJo - That is the fifth girl to jump off the top board and miss the huge pool below. Women divers!

HD - This gymnast has a maximum degree of difficulty. His name is Churzit Kiddik-Kaddik-Fiddik-FlipFlapFlopFlep.

JW - That is the 10 minute free view of the beach volleyball. If you'd like to watch the full one, please enter your PIN now.

CA - And the crowd are on their feet. So much for getting the stadium finished on time.

MJu - Well, that really was a spectacular day at weightlifting. But before we go, we've got time to just have a look at some of the spectacular anal prolapses we've seen today.

HD - Lane 1, a family eating popcorn. Lane 2, two guys on a stag night. Lane 3-- I'm in the wrong place, this is bowling.

AP - And now, in the weightlifting, it's the snatch. She's a big girl, but it's still compulsory.

HD - Well, here at Weymouth, our gold medal prospect is out. In the last race he touched the boy, and he's been arrested by social services.

Unlikely Things To Read In A Children's Book

AP - And so the tiger came to tea, and then shagged another woman, and went back to playing golf.

JW - As soon as Professor Snape saw Hermione, he knew in a few years she would be really hot.

HD - "What's a Gruffalo?", said the Gruffalo. "It's a buffalo on 40 a day."

CA - "These bacon sandwiches are delicious!", said Pooh. "Aren't they, Piglet? Piglet?"

MJo - And so, 101 dalmatians fell asleep. Hang on, those aren't dalmatians. Those are just ordinary white puppies, riddled with bullets.

JW - "Hello, my name is the Very Hungry Caterpillar. I have an eating disorder."

AP - Unfortunately, Bob the Builder couldn't fix it, because Bobski the Polish Builder had undercut him and done a far better job!

MJu - "This place is rubbish," said Edmund. "Doesn't anybody have sex here?". "Oh, yes," said Aslan, "what do you think the griffins are for?"

HD - But despite his protests, Mr. Tickle was put on the register.

MJo - After years of depression and alcoholism, the little girl emigrated. And that is the end of Alice in Sunderland.

CA - "This is Pooh Corner", explained one of the other captives.

HD - "Have you heard about Badger?", said Ratty. "He's been gassed to stop the spread of Bovine TB."

AP - As the train came slowly past, The Railway Children chucked stones at it and spray-painted "Thomas is a Wanker."

MJo - Tales of the Unexpected. Once upon a--- BLAAAH!

CA - And then, as he did every night, Fantastic Mr. Fox knocked over a bin and shat on the doorstep.

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