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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 19
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13
Full list of scenarios

Series 20
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Templates
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Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the seventh episode of the twelfth series.

Key[]

  • HD – Hugh Dennis
  • SF – Stewart Francis
  • RB – Rob Beckett
  • AP – Andy Parsons
  • KR – Katherine Ryan
  • EB – Ed Byrne

Topics[]

Extracts From DVDs That Would Never Sell[]

AP - Welcome to Exercise For Manic Depressives. Down. Up. Down. Up.

HD - Welcome to this "How To Use A DVD" Instruction DVD. First, put this DVD in the slot for the DVD.

EB - Steven Spielberg's Circumcision: The Director's Cut.

RB - Welcome to The Suffragette Story with me, Miley Cyrus.

KR - (as Johnny Depp) Ready to get fit, ladies? It's Johnny Depp, Pilates of the Caribbean.

HD - The main point of this self-help DVD is that only you can help you. No need for me then, thanks for the 20 quid.

SF - Hello. Welcome to Funeral Etiquette. When's the right time to fart?

RB - We are in Africa filming the continent's biggest predator. Madonna in Malawi.

HD - (German accent) Welcome to The Best Of German Who Do You Think You Are? So, your grandfather was a... okay we'll leave it there.

EB - Welcome to The Best Of Test Match Special. (imitates lighting a match) That one works!

AP - This is the DVD you've been waiting for: All the tweets of Alan Sugar read out loud by Stephen Hawking!

HD - Welcome to Filthy Dirty Nurses 2: The Rise of MRSA.

EB - Hello, I'm Ed Byrne. Welcome to Wank Yourself Skinny.

KR - Work yourself thin, with me, teen sensation Stewart Francis!

AP - It's the DVD we've all been waiting for: 2 politicians discussing Rwanda!

Unlikely Things To Hear On A Motoring Programme[]

HD - Listen to that deep throaty roar of the man I've just run over.

SF - George Michael says he's never driven a car that's handled so well on the pavement.

EB - Now I would describe this car as being very nippy, but apparently I'm not allowed to say that. I have to say it's made in Japan.

AP - I'm about to shag a bloke. Welcome to Ride My Pimp.

KR - Women everywhere have come together to announce their favourite car. It's... the red one.

AP - This car has a fail-safe anti-theft device. It's a Vauxhall Corsa.

HD - First, second, third, fourth. Yes, all my wives have divorced me because I'm such a twat about cars.

RB - It's just a car innit, who gives a shit?

  • KR: Thank you.

KR - This car is actually owned by Jeremy Clarkson, which is why I'm running my key along it now.

EB - My first impression is that the dashboard layout is actually quite unorthodox and very minimalist. There doesn't seem to be a steering...uh...I'm sitting at the back.

SF - (sniffs) Ahh... it still has that new hitchhiker smell.

AP - I don't know about you, but I think it'll be quite nice to walk today!

RB - The sales have been surprisingly low for the new Renault Bellend. 

AP - This car has been modified for the American market. It's got 6 cup holders, a sandwich stand and a small rotisserie attached to the dashboard.

EB - This week on Top Gear, we're going to be talking about some penises... cars! We're talking about cars! Cars! No! Cars!

HD - This car's personalised management system remembers who you are and how you drive. This morning it locked me out and told me to fuck off.

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