The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the compilation episode of the thirteenth series.
- HD - Hugh Dennis
- RB - Rob Beckett
- MJ - Milton Jones
- AP - Andy Parsons
- HW - Holly Walsh
- RR - Romesh Ranganathan
Bad Things To Say On A First Date
HW - I'm not wearing any knickers 'cause I've just shat myself.
AP - So here's a good one. Name your favourite three members of the Nazi party.
HD - Well I know. I mean, that's the great thing about a blind date isn't it? You don't know who you're going to meet. How are you, mother?
RR - No it's totally alright, son. I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. That'll be £8 please.
MJ - Do I want tiramisu? I tirami-do!
RB - I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't realise how far the restaurant was away from the STD clinic.
HD - What brand of pants do I wear? God, that's a forward question. Incontinence.
AP - So I've marked your homework...
HW - Do you have a condom? 'Cause the police are coming and I need to swallow this cocaine.
MJ - My last girlfriend said I was unnecessarily mysterious... Or did she?
RR - Oh no it's really great to meet another Star Wars fan. (as Yoda) Mmm, blowjob I will get.
HD - Let's go Dutch. (Dutch accent) I'll have the poppadoms please.
MJ - My last girlfriend abandoned me at the altar. Not into animal sacrifice, apparently.
RB - Oh you're back. How's the shit?
HD - Don't tell me. Lamb, am I right? It's just that I was expecting a woman.