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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Templates
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Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the second episode of the thirteenth series.

Key Edit

  • HD - Hugh Dennis
  • RB - Rob Beckett
  • GD - Gary Delaney
  • AP - Andy Parsons
  • SP - Sara Pascoe
  • JW - Josh Widdicombe

Topics Edit

Things You Won't Hear At The World Cup Edit

RB - No one's guaranteed a star in this England team. The only thing that's now all on is Wayne Rooney's hair.

HD - Oh, that was a horrible two-footed lunge, but it was the only way I could shut Phil Neville up.

GD - And now our cameraman is gonna pick out some of the plainer girls in the crowd.

HD - Let's look at possession. Yes, seven Colombians have been arrested for it...

AP - That's Messi, oh Messi. Yes, Wayne Rooney should never have a half-time orange unsupervised.

JW - There's little doubt now that Christiano Ronaldo is one of the world's all-time greatest twats.

SP - Welcome to Sugarloaf Mountain, the hardest levels on Candy Crush.

GD - And that's a very soft tackle as Pele hasn't taken his tablets yet.

HD - Is he the finished article? That's the question. He did very well against Italy but Sterling has traditionally performed very badly against the Dollar and the Yen.

AP - And now we go over live for Nigeria against the Ivory Coast, and our commentator, Ron Atkinson.

RB - You join us here in Brazil where it's still fuckin' well 'ot.

SP - Hey, who's heard what's going on in Iraq?

AP - There's six Brazilians in the wall and two in the foundations. That's the mafia for you.

JW - Four years later, Paul the octopus is back. And what a stew he made.

HD - Andrea Pirlo, the only player in world football to be named after the Palestinian Liberation Organization.

Unlikely Things To Hear On A Cookery Programme Edit

RB - No, no, no, that's a flower, Nigella. (sighs)

AP - You've got to be very careful when handling raw meat, but if your wife does come in, close the laptop, pull up the trousers, and feign ignorance.

JW - The thing to remember when making your own pesto is you're wasting your time.

HD - So, pop in a lemon, shove in the stuffing, sew up the mouth, and that should keep Gregg Wallace quiet for a bit.

GD - No I'm afraid those aren't bacon bits. I've just got a bit of eczema at the moment.

SP - If you add vodka into the tomatoes it really brings out the flavour. And if you add it to your wine you can pass out before the kids get home.

HD - You should be able to get the ingredients for this anywhere. They are goat's horn, chervil, and the frozen tears of an elf.

AP - I'm Antony Worrall Thompson. Today we're going to be needing salmon, noodles, and parsley, so I'm going to nip down to Tesco and shove 'em up my jumper.

RB - That's enough cooking, next up we've got some twat trying to flog a book.

SP - Mmmmm, does anyone know what's happening in Iraq?

JW - Welcome to Chinese Meals In Minutes. (Imitates talking on a phone) I'll have a nineteen and some prawn crackers.

HD - So alternatively it's Gas Mark four for twenty minutes. You're watching Dignitas television.

JW - This asparagus smells delicious. Now imagine what it tasted like when I ate it yesterday.

AP - After Masterchef, Celebrity Masterchef, and Masterchef: The Professionals, now it's Masterchef: The Only Five People In Britain Who've Not Been On Masterchef.

GD - We'd like to apologise for the misprint in this week's Radio Times. Paul Hollywood is, in fact, a massive cook.

JW - We only use the freshest ingredients, so this is Daisy and this is a stun gun.

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