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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
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Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
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Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
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Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
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Series 5
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Series 6
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Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
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Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
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Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
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Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
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Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
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Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
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Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
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Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
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Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
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Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 19
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13
Full list of scenarios

Series 20
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

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05D35370-EED5-4E20-B5E9-C4F297D4224E

Trago Mills: Newton abbot

The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the third episode of the thirteenth series.

Key[]

  • HD - Hugh Dennis
  • RR - Romesh Ranganathan
  • MJ - Miles Jupp
  • AP - Andy Parsons
  • AB - Angela Barnes
  • JW - Josh Widdicombe

Topics[]

Unlikely Things To Hear In A School Assembly[]

AP - It's your own time you're wasting, so please think twice about choosing media studies as an option.

HD - We are not involved in extremism, and any suggestion we are is deeply offensive to us all here at the Jihadi Death-to-the-west Academy.

JW - Congratulations to the Year 7 football team who beat England.

MJ - There are two new girls in the school today, thanks to Louise in Year 9 who's just had twins.

AB - New school rule: Fom next term there will be running in the corridors 'cause we've had to sell off the gym.

RR - Just this morning, we confiscated a bag of cannabis, and now we're asking all students to come forward if they've got Pringles.

HD - Good news for last year's leavers: We have four at Durham. four at Edinburgh, four at Bristol, and you can't find a better selection of prisons than those.

JW - And now for show and tell, and here is Miles with his cheese collection.

MJ - Congratulations to the first eleven who yesterday beat St. Christopher's 37 - 0. St. Christopher's is an Intensive Care Unit, but nonetheless, well done.

RR - Well, I'm really sad to be leaving you as your maths teacher. I've got no idea why I've been made redundant, because I've always felt that I've given 110%.

HD - Just a note for 5D. When I said that Thomas should be in a blazer, I didn't mean set him on fire.

AB - No Ofsted inspection today, so burkas off.

AP - Now I know today is "No School Uniform Day," Barry, but we were hoping that you would wear something else!

JW - And now the register is the reason that Mr. Smith cannot be here at the school today.

HD - So if ever you feel the need to do drugs, have a word with the supply teacher.

Commercials That Never Made It To Air[]

AP - Come to Trago Mills. We've got peacocks and everything!

HD - We've got surprises in store. The escalator's broken and the staff know fuck all!

MJ - Dignitas: It's not Au Revoir.

RR - Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and has ruined your life? Next time, use Durex.

AB - Try Uniform Dating, because with the way government cuts are going pretty soon, it could be the quickest way to get a policeman to your house in an emergency.

HD - If you can find it cheaper anywhere else, tell us and we'll burn their shop down.

JW - The DFS sale has ended.

MJ - Have you been injured whilst doing voluntary work? Well that's your look-out, isn't it?

AP - The Dyson hand dryer: The perfect way to drown out the sound of somebody having a shit.

JW - Papa? Papa? No I'm sorry, Nicole, we've lost him.

AB - Buy Lidl wine, because poor people shouldn't have to drink cider.

RR - Steven Gerrard drinks Lucozade. This has been a Red Bull commercial.

AP - News International: When you talk we listen.

HD - To qualify for second meerkat toy, Aleksandr has invaded Ukraine!

JW - Milk: Try and forget it came out of a cow’s tits.

MJ - Have you booked Joe Hart to advertise your product? Have you paid for advertising space until the end of the World Cup? Then you may be entitled to compensation.

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