RB: Rob Beckett
ZL: Zoe Lyons
RJ: Rhys James
HD: Hugh Dennis
EG: Ed Gamble
GD: Gary Delaney
Unlikely Film Trailers Edit
ZL- Referendum 2: We'll Keep Doing It Until We Get The Result We Like.
RB- From the director of Batman vs. Superman: A heartfelt letter of apology for wasting our time.
EG- Tantric Sex, The Movie: Not coming soon.
RJ- The new, all-female Ghostbusters. The CGI looks amazing because we saved 30% on actors' wages.
HD- Sepp Blatter and Donald Trump star in Despicable? Me, Too.
GD- Thanks to a misfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action film ever: Alan vs. Predator.
ZL- Just when you thought the service couldn't be any more appalling, Southern Rail present Snakes On A Train!
HD- The Avengers go to prison. They should have asked the Age of Ultron.
RB- The greatest trick the Devil ever played was charging nine quid for Fanta and popcorn. It's a fucking lot, isn't it?
EG- In his most important role to date, Danny Dyer is Emeline Pankhurst. (as Danny Dyer) Me and the wrestlings tarts is pissed off!
HD- The sequel you hoped they would never make. The Martian 2: 101 Dull Martians.
RB- One man stays alone. It's Labour: The Film.
RJ- It's the autoerotic asphyxiation thriller: Die Hard!
GD- Fifty Shades of Gray: The heartwarming story of a vajazzler in an old folks' home.
EG- In a land where nothing costs more than a pound... it's Poundland.
ZL- Referendum 4: Now Ant Wants To Leave Dec!
HD- Michael Gove is David Cameron's best buddy in Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Mate.
GD- Harrison Ford is 73 and he's back in Indiana Jones And The Tricky Patch Of Ice Outside The Post Office.
EG- In a world where they only sell PCs... it's PC World.
Unlikely Things To Hear On A Makeover Show Edit
RB- Look, Gok Wan, I know you're trying to build my confidence up, but you can stop grabbing my tits and shouting "Bangers".
HD- Welcome to Changing Rooms. This one's in the lingerie department at Debenhams.
ZL- I love what you done to the bedroom, guys. I love the neutral colors, I love everything, all the new furniture, but what have you done with me beanbag? There was 20 grams worth of coke in that!
HD- Well, why do we call it DIY SOS? Because I've accidentally staple gunned my penis to this staircase!
EG- Welcome to Straight Eye For The Straight Guy, where the advice is always spray Lynx on your crotch.
GD- Mrs. Patterson says her downstairs is a little damp. Don't worry, Alan Titschmarch has that effect on a lot of women your age.
RJ- When Susan approached us, she was overweight, she had terrible hair, and her self-esteem was at rock bottom. But now, thanks to our team, she's got a new kitchen.
ZL- This bathroom really is looking exquisite now. We have laid Moroccan tiles on the floor, we've used accentuating tones on the walls, and over here we put a brand new shitter.
HD- Well, it's taken a lot of work, a lot of sawing, and a lot of drilling. But finally, the shed is finished and Jeff has somewhere quiet to masturbate in.
RB- Oh, wow, she looked hideous before, didn't she? Oh, that's after, sorry!
RJ- Oh, we just did a spruce-up, really. You know, we dusted, got rid of the cobwebs, sorted out the curtains downstairs, and, uh, yeah, I'd probably shag her now!
HD- Well, I mean I absolutely love it. I love the wallpaper, I love the way you knocked through. There's just one thing: I actually live next door.
GD- I showed this couple form Sussex a delightful little semi earlier and said if they touch it, I'll do up their house.
EG- What your hair needs is volume and lots of body, so here's Brian Blessed!
RB- Why did you give him your teeth?