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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Templates
Link to an edition of the round
Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to Scenes We'd Like To See suggestions made in Series 15, Episode 5.

Key Edit Edit

  • HD: Hugh Dennis
  • EB: Ed Byrne
  • JR: John Robins
  • JA: James Acaster
  • HW: Holly Walsh
  • RB: Rob Beckett

Topics Edit

Rejected Exam Questions Edit

RB - If Maria from Russia combines ephedrine with oxycontin, will she win her next tennis match?

HD - Was Elizabeth the first? No? Then who did you lose your virginity to?

HW - If I have two balls in this hand, and two balls in this hand, how am I going to explain this to the Board of Governors?

EB - What is the role Adolf Hitler and the Nazis played in keeping the History Channel on the air?

JR - If it takes John's girlfriend 14 minutes to walk to the train station (through clenched teeth) then why are we still getting ready?

JA - Which of the following is a quote by Winston Churchill? A) "We will fight them on the beaches", B) "Goddamn, I love these peaches", or C)- (breaks up laughing)

RB - If you buy four apples for 10 pounds, stop shopping at Waitrose!

JA - If The Borrowers never returned anything they borrowed, why were they called "The Borrowers" and not "The Thieving Little Bastards"?

HD - History: Who were the Liberal Democrats?

HW - Welcome to the telekinesis exam. You may now turn the page over with your mind.

JR - British Citizenship Test Question 1: Who is the leader of the Conservative Party? (pause) And now? (pause) How about now?

EB - If a man can make 400,000 pounds a year as an estate agent, why is he wasting his life setting exam questions while locked in a loveless marriage?

RB - In less than 200 words, please describe your plan for Brexit. Please, anything will do. Literally, anything.

JA - Which of the following is a quote by Winston Churchill? A) "We will fight them on the beaches", B) "Goddamn, I love these peaches"- I can't do that move... (buzz)

HD - Predict the next number in this sequence: 1966.

RB - Question 1,066: When was the Battle of Hastings?

EB - Biology: Take the dead rat and dissect it, remove its head, and nail it to the canteen door as a warning to other rats.

HD - Which is bigger- 52% or 48%? That's democracy, get on with it.

JA - Which of the following is a famous- fuck it!

Things You Wouldn't Hear On A Train Edit

RB- The next station will be Wimbledon. Change here for overground, underground, and Wombling-free.

HD- The next stop for this train will be Waterloo. It's not meant to be, but the brakes have failed.

EB- (miming as he's on a phone) Yeah, I just want to tell you I'm on the train. No, since everyone else is doing it, I thought I'd join in.

RB- Hello, this is your driver speaking. CHOO CHOO!

JA- Now an announcement for the people who insist they sit the way the train is moving 'cause sitting backwards feels weird: You're weird!

JR- This train will shortly be arriving in Taunton. Please remember to turn off all mobile phones, lest they mistake you for gods.

HD- This is an announcement for all passengers: Piss off, the lot of ya! This is Crossrail...

RB- Due to Britain leaving the EU, this train will no longer stop at Ashby-de-la-Zouch.

HW- Bing bong. Could the owner of a missing xylophone please make their way to the guards' carriage?

EB- This is an announcement for the passengers who are complaining that this service is late: Can I just point out that this as is Southern Rail, you're lucky to be on a fucking train at all?

RB- Bing bong. (really fast) ThisisthebullettrainservicetoTokyo-- oh, we're here, everybody off.

HD- Would the driver please contact the guard? We're doing 120, you don't seem to be in the cab, mate.

EB- Please mind the gap between the time table and reality.

HD- There is a quiet carriage on this train for those shocked into silence by the price of the ticket.

JR- Oh, don't get off here, I was listening to that!

JA- AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! OH! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! Bah, I'm scared of tunnels, I'm so scared of tunnels!

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