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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Templates
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Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topic and suggestions for the tenth episode of the fifteenth series.

Key Edit

NK- Nish Kumar

KG- Kerry Godliman

GM- Glenn Moore

AB- Angela Barnes

HD- Hugh Dennis

JA- James Acaster


Topics Edit

Unlikely Things To Hear On A TV Police Show Edit

HD- It's not my fault. You told me to reconstruct the crime, so I killed someone.

AB- So according to this, the suspect was five-foot five, red hair, glass-- How pissed was I last night?!

KG- Sarge, I can't find any fingerprints. I don't think the killer had any hands. Oh no, gloves. Yeah, fair point. They could have been wearing gloves.

GM- Sargeant, you left the luggage in a wind tunnel? Oh, this is gonna blow the case wide open!

JA- Put your hands where I can see them! Oh, yeah, those are some sexy hands.

AB- You're going down for a very long time because I did it for you on your birthday.

GM- (speaking in a muffled voice) Um, the attacker first entered the house when-- (normal voice) Oh, you'll alter my voice afterwards?

NK- I told y'all to play this one by the book! Now I got the FBI and the D.A. on my ass and also everybody keeps thinking on the phone I'm African-American when I'm clearly a Chinese lady!

JA- When forensics arrives, let them know that as usual, a lot of the semen is courtesy of your truly.

KG- So is this the body here, yeah-- oh, God, sorry, Tina, I didn't recognize you without your make-up.

GM- Wait, so you're trying to tell me the the mounted policemen at the home end of Liverpool stadium fired a bullet that just about grazed Liverpool's manager? You're trying to tell me the cop cop on clip-clops clipped Klopp?

JA- We're the boys in blue. We wanted to be called the Blue Man Group, but that name was already taken by some very talented individuals.

HD- Hate crime? No, I love crime. It's what I do.

GM- We've searched the suspect's room and we've found traces of semen, alcohol, and cocaine. Our conclusion: Absolute legend.

AB- For the benefit of the tape, the suspect is a very lovely bit of rough.

GM- He can find any body. He can find any suspect. But can he find himself? This is Gap Year Detective.

Things You Never Hear On Daytime TV Edit

KG- (blinking) Good morning, I'm Susannah Reid, and I'm not blinking, this a cry for help in morse code.

HD- Shouldn't you be at college?

AB- Something a bit different in today's episode of Countdown, Susie Dent is actually gonna be playing the game. Let's see how she copes without her fucking dictionary.

NK- Welcome to Escape To The Country, or to give it its full title, Some Smug Wankers Fancy A Bit Of Fresh Air.

JA- Welcome to Smell The Cheese.

GM- Welcome. You're watching Four In A Bed, where we'll be catching up with your mum.

HD- Well, he already presents everything, and now he's fronting the new ITV breakfast show. Yes, it's Good Morning Briain.

GM- Well, coming up now on BBC2, you can use the red button to choose your daytime show: It's either a travel documentary about alcoholic narcoleptic rabbis on holiday, or a current affairs and arts programme. It's You Snooze You Lose Booze Cruise For Jews or News And Reviews, you choose.

HD- Well, it's a difficult topic, but later on, we'll be talking about premature ejac-- oh, no.

NK- Welcome to Good Morning Britain. I'm Piers Morgan and I'm sorry.

KB- Next up, Holly and Phillip will be demonstrating the ancient art of bukkake-- kabuki, kabuki!

HD- This week on A Place In The Country, YOU DON'T GET ONE UNLESS YOU'VE GOT A SPECIAL SKILL! THAT IS WHAT BREXIT MEANS!

AB- And this week on Location, Location, Location, will Kirsty and Phil finally find that garage to bang in?

JA- (scratching himself) There was no cash in that attic, just loads of fiberglass insulation!

KG- And next on Jeremy Kyle, the childhood sweethearts celebrating their 25 year anniversary. Not really, it's a couple of crackheads with no teeth.

JA- Today on Escape To The Country, we're escaping the law, and the country in question is Mexico.

GM- Welcome back to Homes Under The Hammer with Dion Dublin, the show makes makes you go, "Dion Dublin? As in the Dion Dublin?"

HD- (in a bored tone) Well, because they're all the same and I can't be bothered to announce them all, here's Flog Dickinson's Antique Some Hammer Pointless Breakout In The Country. Fucking finishes at five.

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