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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Series 1
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Series 2
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Series 3
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Series 4
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Series 5
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Series 6
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Series 7
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Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
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Series 9
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Series 10
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Christmas Special
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Series 11
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Series 12
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Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
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Series 13
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Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
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Series 14
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Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
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Series 16
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Series 17
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Christmas Special
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Series 18
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Series 19
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13
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Series 20
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The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the second episode of the sixteenth series.

Key[]

JA- James Acaster

HD- Hugh Dennis

EG- Ed Gamble

RJ- Rhys James

NK- Nish Kumar

ZL- Zoe Lyons

Topics[]

Things You Wouldn't Hear In A Nature Show[]

HD- Well, that was a sticky moment. Last time I tickle a sperm whale.

EG- It has been said that male cows don't defecate, but as you can see, that's bullshit.

RJ- The best way to tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant is that one of them is an elephant.

NK- Hello, I'm not an elephant. (RJ- Told ya.)

HD- The baboon is one of the most sophisticated primates-- Would you look at the ass on that?

JA- And the reason why geese fly in a V formation is to act as chevrons for airplanes.

NK- Coming up, a couple of rhinos banging and some monkeys fingerblasting each other on Extremely Blue Planet!

EG- And what a magnificent scene, the monkey is lifting the lion towards the sun and I'm being removed from the theatre for talking!

ZL- Dawn rises on the Serengeti. Dawn has no idea how she got there.

RJ- The gibbon is said to be the most frequent masturbator in the entire animal kingdom. We'll see about that...

NK- 'Allo, mates, I'm Danny Dyer, and welcome to Britain's Longest Dogs!

EG- The camel can walk across the sand because of it's toes, or scientists call them, "fanny outlines."

JA- Here we have a tiger happily eating Frosties. Tonight's episode is dedicated to the memory of our cameraman, Charles Frosties.

ZL- And here we have two majestic birds of prey, or nuns, as they're also called.

JA- Here we have a woodchuck, also known as a groundhog, which begs the question "How much ground could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?"

RJ- As the three lions circle the female, we ask when will footballers learn that no means no?

HD- The crab scuttles into view. I should have used the special shampoo again.

EG- And today, we'll be talking about one of the largest land mammals to ever walk the earth: Your mum.

Unlikely Chat-Up Lines[]

HD- Nope, should have gone to Specsavers.

EG- Hello, name's Ed. What's it short for? I don't know, it's always been like that.

ZL- You had me at hello, which is why my friends think I'm a bit of a slag.

JA- Your father must have been a thief, AND I'M GONNA CATCH HIM IF IT'S THE LAST THING I'LL EVER DO, YOUR FATHER'S GOING TO PRISON!

HD- It's a loyalty card. Every ten shags, I buy you a present.

RJ- Hey, are you a parking ticket? Because I just picked you up on the street and now I can't afford to pay you.

JA- Love is blind, and so am I. Now let me feel your face so I can know you're not a munter.

NK- I'd say my approach to sex is a lot like the government's approach to Brexit: I go in hard and then pull out when I realize I have no idea what I'm doing.

RJ- Oh, so when you sit there licking your lips, that's "sexy", but when I do it, I'm "weird" and should "get off your lips".

EG- You look like a million dollars: Less impressive than you would have done ten years ago.

ZL- I like my men like I like... women.

NK- Hey girl, you must be tired 'cause you look real tired. Get some rest, lady!

RJ- I hope you're nothing like my ex-girlfriend. She was so demanding, always asking me to text her when I got in. That's how small my penis is.

HD- So, do you come here often... to this STD clinic?

EG- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together, which is why I was fired from my job as an English teacher.

NK- Roses are red, violets are red, you are red, the sky is red, I'm bleeding in the eyes.

RJ- You've got an arse that just won't quit, despite calling an election and losing a majority.

HD- You don't look like you did through the binoculars!

JA- If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me while I cry on your shoulder-- I'm so lonely, God, I'm so lonely.

ZL- On a first date, I always like to go Dutch. I don't mean I split the bill, but I'll do really kinky stuff in clogs.

JA- I like my women like I like my coffee: Always getting my name wrong.

RJ- If you were on an Indian menu, you'd have three chilis next to you... because you make me shit myself.

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