The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See suggestions for the sixth episode in the sixteenth series.
NK- Nish Kumar
TS- Tiff Stevenson
EB- Ed Bryne
RJ- Rhys James
HD- Hugh Dennis
TA- Tom Allen
Things A Sports Commentator Would Never Say
RJ- Eight no balls in a row. You join us for the women's 100-meter final.
HD- Rory McIlroy is on the green. He holds the baby lamb aloft. This is for an eagle...
NK- They think it's all over, it is now, I'm dead!
EB- And the Russian champ beginning her routine now. Running, running, running, big jump and a tumble, and a little tumble, and then rolling around and then a bit of swirling-- To be honest with you, I normally do the darts.
TS- Joe Root's up now for England. He's quite cute, isn't he? He can spend a couple of hours at my crease.
TA- And at the end of that match, it's nil-nil. But it doesn't matter because both teams are such lovely people.
HD- Well, there are three horses in it. This is the worst sausage I have ever had!
EB- And the Ferrari crosses the line in the worst case of cheating the London Marathon has ever seen.
TA- Welcome to the Monaco Grand Prix, and yes, they do all sound a lot like bees!
HD- Well, Gary and I are in the commentary position, if you wanna know where that is, it's on page 32 between missionary and wheelbarrow.
NK- Shock news as FIFA awards the 2022 World Cup to the Islamic state. (runs back laughing)
TS- Say what you like about these cyclists, but, boy do they know their drugs!
RJ- The referee there taking down Ronaldo's number. Not really the time or the place, but good to see we've kicked homophobia out of football.
EB- And as traditional, the leader of the Tour de France now awarded with the yellow jersey to remind him what color his piss is supposed to be.
HD- 15, 30. In a chat room, it's so difficult to tell.
RJ- Incredible delivery from Serena Williams. The baby came out in seven minutes and she didn't even shit herself.
HD- Oh, that is long, very long! I'll put it away now and get on with the commentary.
Unlikely Lines From A Thriller
RJ- Boss, I've got some news about the criminal who's been impersonating Sting: He's turned himself into The Police.
HD- We've got to get out before it goes off! Oh no, I've misread the sell-by date, we've got another week.
TS- My name is Pussy Galore. Yeah, obviously it's a codename. My real name? Oh, it's Fanny Everywhere.
EB- (miming hands like a gun) Everybody be cool, this is a robbery! You in the Game Of Thrones t-shirt, what did I just say about being cool?
HD- Strapped to a railway line. Thank God it's Southern, I got six hours to escape.
NK- Whoever you are, I will find you and I will kill you. Now can you tell me your postcode so I can pop it in the Sat Nav?
RJ- Mr. Brown, meet Mr. White. I should really learn these diplomats' names.
HD- You can beat me as much as you like, but I can't tell you where he is. It's all set up. No one knows where Wally is.
TA- Go, leave me behind! I love you, that's why I'm saying this! Go ahead without me! You only get one chance to play The Crystal Maze!
NK- "I'm so angry about all these people observing Ramadan!" Nigel Farage stars in The Fast and the Furious.
EB- It's a male, 30-35, caucasian. No obvious sign of trauma... No, wait, the head should be attached to the body, shouldn't it?
TA- Right, we was going down the match, going down to see the match, some of he lads, and some bloke's got killed, innit he? Yeah, it was murder on the Leyton Orient express!
TS- Oh my god, you're the Zodiac Killer! Before you do it, I'm a Libra, just let em know what I've got coming up.
RJ- This elevator company is corrupt and I think it goes all the way to the top!
HD- You can kill me, but if you, you'll never find the sarin gas canister I have placed in the President's fridge. Shit!
EB- You try to expose corruption in my elevator company? You're going down!