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(Lines You Wouldn't Hear In A Superhero Movie)
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'''EG '''- Why am I green? Well, I'm made of kale, I am the Inedible Hulk!
 
'''EG '''- Why am I green? Well, I'm made of kale, I am the Inedible Hulk!
   
'''RP - '''Ah, Superman, we meet at least... I can literally see your pants.
+
'''RP - '''Ah, Superman, we meet at last... I can literally see your pants.
   
 
'''HD - '''Don't you call me a wanker, you're a wanker yourself! That's right, I am White-Van Man!
 
'''HD - '''Don't you call me a wanker, you're a wanker yourself! That's right, I am White-Van Man!

Revision as of 15:56, March 5, 2020

Scenes We'd Like To See
SWLTS701
Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Templates
Link to an edition of the round
Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the ninth episode of the seventeenth series.


Key

RP - Rachel Parris

NK - Nish Kumar

KG - Kerry Godliman

EB - Ed Byrne

EG - Ed Gamble

HD - Hugh Dennis


Topics

Lines You Wouldn't Hear In A Superhero Movie

HD - I am Thor, and next year, I will be five.

EB - I've got you now, Catwoman. Your days of sitting on laptops and licking your own hole are over!

EG - Why am I green? Well, I'm made of kale, I am the Inedible Hulk!

RP - Ah, Superman, we meet at last... I can literally see your pants.

HD - Don't you call me a wanker, you're a wanker yourself! That's right, I am White-Van Man!

NK - (hoarse) I'm Batman, nice... (coughs) (normal) I'm Batman, nice to meet you!

EG - Yes, Peter, I know you're Spider-Man, but that definitely isn't "web" all over your laptop screen!

KG - Right, I'm Captain Marvel, and you're Captain America. One of us is gonna have to tell Captain Birds-Eye he's not in this gang! This whole place stinks of fish!

RP - Is it a bird? Is it a plane? This pilot's exam is harder than I was expecting.

EG - I have collected all the Infinity Stones, and I believe that means I'm entitled to a free coffee.

HD - It's the Fantastic Four-- oh no, it was stopped on the boundary, just a single.

RP - A full-body titanium suit with armoured plating? No thank you, I'll stick to the small metal bikini!

EG - Hi, Spider-Man, ya. no, no, no, I've got an STI, so when you say you were "swinging around New York", what exactly did you mean?

EB - Commissioner, you sent for me? Yes, Human Torch, I need to find something in the shed.

NK - I prescribe 50 milligrams of cheese and 60cc of cat hair! Benedict Cumberbatch is Doctor Strange.

KG - They call me Catwoman because I've got fur all over me and I stink of Whiskas and cat piss.

HD - Batman, come quickly! A Thai football team is stuck in the Batcave!

NK - (as the Joker) Why so serious?! Oh right, because I'm a scary clown with weird makeup and I'm holding a knife! Fair enough.

EB - I, Thor... I thaw a puttytat.

Unlikely Agony Aunt Letters

RP - Dear Deirdre, I heard there is a way to get red wine out of carpets. Please tell me, because I really want some red wine!

KG - My boyfriend says I'm obsessed with quizzes. Shall I, A: leave him, B: seek help, C: CARRY ON WITH MY OBSESSION?

EB - Dear Deirdre, I have an irrational fear of agony aunts. Please don't respond.

EG - Dear Deirdre, I don't get allow with my partner's children. Uh, they're my children as well but I don't admit to that because they're absolute dicks!

HD - I am a man in his 50's struggling with his work-life balance. Should I... sorry, got to go.

EB - Help, I'm in love with my wife's mother's daughter--- oh no, wait, that's my wife, it's okay, it's fine.

HD - (laddish voice) All that emotional stuff, is that agony? I once caught my bollocks in a lift door.

KG - Dear Deirdre, I can't help putting my bike in other ladies' racks. Lovely Boris.

EG - Dear Deirdre, last week I had a car accident and now my girlfriend isn't speaking to me, and she cries all the time and now I feel really cold-- OH SHIT, I'M A GHOST!

HD - Dear Deirdre, I am embarrassed by the amount of noise my wife makes during lovemaking. To be fair, she doesn't know I'm still in the house.

EG - My girlfriend says I give up on things too easily. Oh well.

KG - Since my children left to go to university, my life feels so meaningful and rich. How do I tell them I won't want them to come home for Christmas?

EG - Dear Deirdre, my wife says I'm a fantasist and a compulsive liar. Well, she's one to talk. She doesn't even exist!

HD - I am a man trapped inside the body of a woman. It happened last night and neither of us dared call an ambulance.

RP - (Russian accent) Dear Deirdre, I am very into steeples.

EB - Dear Deirdre, my girlfriend reckons I should try and set a world record for masturbation. Do you think I can pull it off? (pulls a pose as the audience cheers)

RP - Dear Deirdre, in the daytime I come across as a really smart, cheerful guy whom everyone loves. But in secret, I am definitely a psychopath. Yours, Nish Kumar.

NK - Dear Deirdre, my wife says that I'm a serial philanderer and a sex addict. So I guess my question is, "What are you doing tonight?"

KG - I just got my first period. Should I be worried? Dave, 32.

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