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=== Things You Wouldn't Hear On A Breakfast Show ===
 
=== Things You Wouldn't Hear On A Breakfast Show ===
'''RoJ: '''Morning (beep)!
+
'''RoJ: '''MORNING, C***S!
   
'''HD: '''Just checking; this isn't live, is it?
+
'''HD: '''Just checking, this isn't live, is it?
   
'''EG: '''And later on, you could go on the trip of a lifetime: because Gino's telling us how to cook acid.
+
'''EG: '''And later on, you could go on the trip of a lifetime because Gino's telling us how to cook acid.
   
'''RhJ: '''And coming up, we're speaking to eight-year-old coffee efficado Jasper, who has just claimed the title for Britain's youngest wanker.
+
'''RhJ: '''And coming up, we're speaking to eight-year-old coffee aficionado Jasper who has just claimed the title for Britain's youngest wanker.
   
'''KG: '''See me at eight, I've had enough of all this bullshit; I'll tell you what's what after the break join me, Lorainne!
+
'''KG: '''See me at eight, I've had enough of all this bullshit; I'll tell you what's what after the break join me, Lorianne!
   
 
'''EG: '''You're watching ''Good Morning Britain'' on ITV +1, so the clock in the corner's wrong and you're already late for work.
 
'''EG: '''You're watching ''Good Morning Britain'' on ITV +1, so the clock in the corner's wrong and you're already late for work.
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'''TA: '''Later on, we'll be looking at what causes breakdowns. Maybe it's getting up at 3 o'clock in the morning to do this job for five years. Maybe, maybe, MAYBE!
 
'''TA: '''Later on, we'll be looking at what causes breakdowns. Maybe it's getting up at 3 o'clock in the morning to do this job for five years. Maybe, maybe, MAYBE!
   
'''RhJ: '''Today on the show, we'll be discussing sexism. Why is it that when a woman says she slept with loads of people she is called a 'slag', but when I say that I am called a 'liar'?
+
'''RhJ: '''Today on the show, we'll be discussing sexism. Why is it that when a woman says she slept with loads of people she is called a "slag", but when I say that I am called a "liar"?
   
'''HD: '''Well, just time for one final quick look at the papers. (Mimes looking through papers) Yep, she still wants a divorce.
+
'''HD: '''Well, just time for one final quick look at the papers. ''(mimes looking through papers)'' Yep, she still wants a divorce.
   
 
'''KG: '''Oh, Piers, that's such a compassionate, well-articulated thought.
 
'''KG: '''Oh, Piers, that's such a compassionate, well-articulated thought.
   
'''TA: '''And now, let's find out what the weather's doing in your area. Or you can just pull back the curtain, David; I mean, do I have to do everything for you if you're going to sleep?
+
'''TA: '''And now, let's find out what the weather's doing in your area. Or you can just pull back the curtain, David, I mean, do I have to do everything for you if you're going to sleep?
   
 
'''EG: '''Travel news now, chaos on the trains as one of the lobbed-up passengers has fired out the window.
 
'''EG: '''Travel news now, chaos on the trains as one of the lobbed-up passengers has fired out the window.
   
'''RhJ: '''And now for every lad's favourite part of the show, it's the weather. Over to... ah, it's a bloke one, switch it to Babe Station!
+
'''RhJ: '''And now for every lad's favourite part of the show, it's the weather. Over to... ah, it's a bloke one, switch it to Babestation.
   
 
'''HD: '''Well, it's backing up at Junction 2, but don't worry, I'll get a poo in the next break.
 
'''HD: '''Well, it's backing up at Junction 2, but don't worry, I'll get a poo in the next break.
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'''HD: '''Chewbacca did not die in vain. These UGG boots are lovely.
 
'''HD: '''Chewbacca did not die in vain. These UGG boots are lovely.
   
'''RhJ: '''Uh, sorry I'm late everyone, I was just in my bunk having what we refer to here on the ''Falcon'' as a 'Hand Solo'.
+
'''RhJ: '''Uh, sorry I'm late everyone, I was just in my bunk having what we refer to here on the ''Falcon'' as a "Hand solo".
   
'''EG: '''Yeah, give it a few minutes, it's an energy-saving lightsaber.
+
'''EG: '''Yeah, give it a few minutes. It's an energy-saving lightsaber.
   
 
'''HD: '''I done you a favor and now you owe me one, Kenobi!
 
'''HD: '''I done you a favor and now you owe me one, Kenobi!
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'''HD: '''No, no, I gave up ages ago. I'm Darth Vaper.
 
'''HD: '''No, no, I gave up ages ago. I'm Darth Vaper.
   
'''EG: '''(as Yoda)''' '''Speaking like this, normal is not. Call me an ambulance. Having a stroke, I am.
+
'''EG: '''''(as Yoda)''''' '''Speaking like this, normal is not. Call me an ambulance. Having a stroke, I am.
   
 
'''KG: '''If this is space, why aren't we floating around?!
 
'''KG: '''If this is space, why aren't we floating around?!
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'''EG: '''Right, cancel all my appointments, Chewbacca's just booked in for a Brazilian!
 
'''EG: '''Right, cancel all my appointments, Chewbacca's just booked in for a Brazilian!
   
'''RhJ: '''(Shaking his hand) Oh my god, someone's doing a Jedi mind trick on me. I'm not in control of my hand. I think they're trying to send you a message. RAARGHH!
+
'''RhJ: '''''(shaking his hand)'' Oh my god, someone's doing a Jedi mind trick on me. I'm not in control of my hand. I think they're trying to send you a message. RAARGHH!
   
'''EG: '''No, I'm not Darth Vader, I'm Darth Vader's Tory brother, Tax Evader.
+
'''EG: '''No, I'm not Darth Vader, I'm Darth Vader's Tory brother, Taxi Vader.
   
 
'''TA: '''Oh, do we have to fight with lightsabers? It's just that no-one looks good under strip lighting.
 
'''TA: '''Oh, do we have to fight with lightsabers? It's just that no-one looks good under strip lighting.

Revision as of 02:56, March 12, 2020

Scenes We'd Like To See
SWLTS701
Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Templates
Link to an edition of the round
Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the tenth episode of the eighteenth series.

Key

EG: Ed Gamble

KG: Kerri Godliman

RhJ: Rhys James

RoJ: Rosie Jones

HD: Hugh Dennis

TA: Tom Allen

Topics

Things You Wouldn't Hear On A Breakfast Show

RoJ: MORNING, C***S!

HD: Just checking, this isn't live, is it?

EG: And later on, you could go on the trip of a lifetime because Gino's telling us how to cook acid.

RhJ: And coming up, we're speaking to eight-year-old coffee aficionado Jasper who has just claimed the title for Britain's youngest wanker.

KG: See me at eight, I've had enough of all this bullshit; I'll tell you what's what after the break join me, Lorianne!

EG: You're watching Good Morning Britain on ITV +1, so the clock in the corner's wrong and you're already late for work.

HD: Well, to hear more about the explosion in the optician's, let's go to the flying eye.

KG: Reports coming in of a major incident at the origami finals, more on that as it unfolds.

RoJ: And now, for the city news roundup, it's Rosie Jones. Hello, goodbye!

TA: Later on, we'll be looking at what causes breakdowns. Maybe it's getting up at 3 o'clock in the morning to do this job for five years. Maybe, maybe, MAYBE!

RhJ: Today on the show, we'll be discussing sexism. Why is it that when a woman says she slept with loads of people she is called a "slag", but when I say that I am called a "liar"?

HD: Well, just time for one final quick look at the papers. (mimes looking through papers) Yep, she still wants a divorce.

KG: Oh, Piers, that's such a compassionate, well-articulated thought.

TA: And now, let's find out what the weather's doing in your area. Or you can just pull back the curtain, David, I mean, do I have to do everything for you if you're going to sleep?

EG: Travel news now, chaos on the trains as one of the lobbed-up passengers has fired out the window.

RhJ: And now for every lad's favourite part of the show, it's the weather. Over to... ah, it's a bloke one, switch it to Babestation.

HD: Well, it's backing up at Junction 2, but don't worry, I'll get a poo in the next break.

Unlikely Lines From A Star Wars Movie

HD: Chewbacca did not die in vain. These UGG boots are lovely.

RhJ: Uh, sorry I'm late everyone, I was just in my bunk having what we refer to here on the Falcon as a "Hand solo".

EG: Yeah, give it a few minutes. It's an energy-saving lightsaber.

HD: I done you a favor and now you owe me one, Kenobi!

KG: Actually, this Ewok identifies as a Shewok.

RoJ: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... Mock the Week made a sack that was fucking in that fatso to disabled people!

HD: No, no, I gave up ages ago. I'm Darth Vaper.

EG: (as Yoda) Speaking like this, normal is not. Call me an ambulance. Having a stroke, I am.

KG: If this is space, why aren't we floating around?!

TA: Ah, it is the War of the Clones. Or as I like to call it, Love Island.

KG: Welcome to the Death Star. Sorry to be one of those hosts, but we're actually a no-shoe Death Star.

EG: Right, cancel all my appointments, Chewbacca's just booked in for a Brazilian!

RhJ: (shaking his hand) Oh my god, someone's doing a Jedi mind trick on me. I'm not in control of my hand. I think they're trying to send you a message. RAARGHH!

EG: No, I'm not Darth Vader, I'm Darth Vader's Tory brother, Taxi Vader.

TA: Oh, do we have to fight with lightsabers? It's just that no-one looks good under strip lighting.

HD: That was Tom Allen with Jedi for the Straight Guy.

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