EG: Ed Gamble
OK: Olga Koch
TA: Tom Allen
GM: Glenn Moore
HD: Hugh Dennis
AB: Angela Barnes
Things You Wouldn't Hear In A History Documentary Edit
AB: Now while this may look like an ordinary car park in Leicester, this is actually the final resting place of my hymen.
GM: It's on this very spot in Dallas, overlooking the president's motorcade that John F. Kennedy is going to die.
EG: And it was here in this field that the fighting started. It was Glastonbury 2015 and some prick nicked my tent.
HD: The Trojans had been fooled by a wooden horse. They would never bet on the Grand National again.
OK: I'm walking on the outside of this castle because of my National Trust lifetime ban.
TA: It's 1856, but it will be 1903 before the Southern train arrives.
HD: Henry VIII liked his wives to be athletic and that was her downfall. She wouldn't run, she wouldn't walk, she would simply amble in.
GM: And so the king appointed a viceroy as a replacement for his regular Roy.
OK: We talk a lot about Winston Churchill's achievements, but we don't talk nearly enough about THAT ASS!
EG: It's 1066, so that can only mean one thing: I shouldn't have bought my digital watch from a market.
AB: Before dawn, the carts would come out to collect the bodies. That is, until the day that Prince Phillip handed in his driving license.
HD: As the door opened, he uttered the words that would start the Russian Revolution. "Excuse me," he said, "is Len in?"
GM: This was a time before Sigourney Weaver when everyone else had to weave their own Sigourneys.
HD: Incensed that both Henry and Edward had become king, Thomas the Tank Engine plotted revenge.
TA: Of course, we talk a lot about Richard the Lionheart, but we seldom talk about his brother, William the Leopard Scrotum.
EG: And the tyrannical leader took his own life in the bunker. It's what I hope for every time Trump goes golfing.
TA: Isambard Kingdom Brunel died as the most famous stupidest named person in the world.
GM: Today we look at one of the key figures of the Ming Dynasty, your mum.
Unlikely Things To Hear In Hospital Edit
EG: We need a drip! Somebody get me Michael Gove!
AB: Now the good news is that your blood results have come back clear. The bad news is blood shouldn't be clear.
TA: Oh my god, yay, £350,000,000! Great news, thanks!
GM: Time of death, Pims o'clock.
HD: Look, if you squeeze this drip really hard, he gets an erection.
OK: I'm a junior doctor and I get paid enough.
GM: Erectile dysfunction, you say? Well, does it hurt when I do this? And does it feel amazing when I do this?
AB: Now, you have pneumonia. Would you like to keep that or gamble for the big prize?
OK: Ah, I remember when my dick looked that young.
EG: I am the leading gynecologist in this hospital. I work in the cafe, but I'm a bit of a legend.
HD: Would anybody like a hand? I just found a hand.
OK: You have cancer-- Sorry, you're having a Cancer. Your baby is due July 15th.
HD: Well, the good news, it's not spread. It might be jam or peanut butter...
EG: I see you. I see you-- No, can you tell me the way to the ICU?
GM: Um, we've had a look at your x-ray and what we found might alarm you. Um, there's a big skeleton living in your body.
TA: Yes, I think it's a curvature of the upper spine, but it's just a hunch.
GM: Good news, Mrs. May, we've managed to have your tear ducts repaired just in time for your big speech!