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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Templates
Link to an edition of the round
Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the fifth episode of the eighteenth series.

Key Edit

EG: Ed Gamble

MA: Maisie Adam

EB: Ed Byrne

LD: Larry Dean

HD: Hugh Dennis

TS: Tiff Stevenson

Topics Edit

Rejected Exam Questions Edit

HD: History of Modern Art, question 1: What the fuck is that meant to be?

EG: No Deal Brexit Technology: Using only a battery and a dead rat, create a solar panel to hear your last tin of beans.

LD: If you have two lines of equal length, how long is it until you can run for Prime Minister?

MA: If Susie has three bananas and two apples, what is the probability she's already told you about her new plant based diet?

TS: Draw a perfect sphere. You may use a protractor or Dara O Briain's head as a guide.

EB: Political science: Boris Johnson is set to be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain. Please explain how without using the term "clusterfuck".

HD: If Mary has six apples, Thomas has four apples, and Gavin has a knife, who has the apples?

EG: Solve X and Y by asking my ex, "WHY?!"

HD: Animal Husbandry, question 1: Do you take this sheep to be your lawful wedded husband?

MA: A-Level Statistics, question 1: What percentage of you lot are VIRGINS!

LD: If a milkshake is traveling towards a fascist at 30 miles an hour, how funny is that?!

EB: Metalwork: fashion a toast rack. Heavy Metalwork: Release a double album about your love of Satan.

EG: Without using the letter C, spell Jeremy Hunt.

TS: Chemistry: Do we have it, because I think there's a bit of a thing between us.

EB: Panel show host qualification exam: Can you work a poxy buzzer? (Dara pauses before pressing buzzer)

HD: Who knew?

EG: If a boy is bullied at school for eight hours a day and he has to use to use comedy as a defense mechanism, WHO'S THE REAL LOSER NOW, NEIL JOHNSON?!

Unlikely Things To Hear On A Gardening Programme Edit

EG: And this is the soil where I spread my seed last week. In fairness, I didn't know the cameras were on.

HD: Well, they look like onions, but they're not onions. They're my testicles.

MA: I got the lawnmower from Halford's, I got the rake from B&Q, and I got the hoe from singlesexybabesinmyarea.com.

EG: These are my peonies, and these es my peenees.

EB: Gardening: All the effort of farming, but none of the profit.

LD: So now that we've filled the hole, let's pop off town to the pet shop and try to find an identical dog.

HD: People ask me why do you grow vegetables, and the answer is I don't know. It's much cheaper at Tesco's... (suddenly realizing something) and I could have had a life.

MA: This beautiful rose is just like my wife: Vibrant, full of life, and if you try to touch it, you feel a prick. Why did you leave me, Karen?

EG: (sniffs something) WELCOME TO GARDENING WITH MICHAEL GOVE!

TS: As you can see, these blackberries aren't doing very well, and that is because the technology is shit and not compatible with anything.

LD: It's great to have a part of your garden that attracts (notices something and stomps on it) wildlife.

EB: Sweetpea: Often overlooked, but shouldn't be as it could be the first symptom of type 2 diabetes.

HD: Well, to be honest, I would dig it out with a spade, but I've never seen a blackhead like it.

LD: Welcome to the garden of remembrance. There's where I left my keys.

EB: There are hard and fast rules when it comes to laying turf: Sod's law. (audience groans) Oh, come on!

EG: I keep all my gardening equipment in different places. I've got hoes in different area codes. (EB: No way! No way!) Wait, I've got one more. There are hard and fast rules when it comes to laying turf: Sod's law!

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