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The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the seventh episode of the eighteenth series.
Key[]
EG: Ed Gamble
EA: Eshaan Akbar
SV: Sindhu Vee
RJ: Rhys James
HD: Hugh Dennis
AB: Angela Barnes
Topics[]
Things You Wouldn't Hear Over A Tannoy[]
HD: We apologize for the delay. Fuck knows when Brexit's happening.
EG: The train on platform 3 has been cancelled because it said something racist on Mock The Week.
SV: Please do not leave your children unattended, unattended children will be removed and destroyed.
RJ: And if you look out of the window on your left, you'll see Christ the Redeemer because I've crashed the plane and this is the afterlife.
AB: Ah, this is cashier number 5. Can I get a price check, can I get a price check for one large tub of Vaseline and one large cucumb-- it's okay, he's gone.
EA: In a moment, the flight crew will remind you you're in a metal tube that can fall out of the sky. Please pay attention as they tell you about a whistle that in no way will save your life.
EG: This is a reminder to smokers this is a non-smoking flight, and this is a reminder to vapers, you don't look as cool as you think you do.
HD: (in a Dutch accent) Amsterdam Brothels would like to apologize for the yelp of pain you just heard. Unexpected item in the shagging area.
AB: (in a drunk voice) Hello, this is your pilot speaking just to prove that I am not too drunk to use the tannoy, Jeff!
RJ: Just a reminder that when we ask you to report anything that doesn't look right, we meant terrorist sort of stuff, not just a baby wearing ripped jeans.
HD: To avoid congestion, please walk to the end of the platform, through the tunnel, and to the next station.
EG: Don't forget you can take advantage of many deals in store today or go with "No Deal" because WE'RE BRITISH AND WE WON A WAR!
EA: If you see something that doesn't look right, please ignore it. This is England after all: See it, feel uncomfortable about it, sort it.
SV: This is your pilot, captain Mohammed Kasim. Psych, it's John Smith.
HD: This is an announcement for the man in the petting zoo: Heavy petting is not allowed, get your tongue out of that llama!
EG: And we've just pulled out of Paddington. Nobody expected the third film to end that way.
RJ: This is your train driver, I don't wish to alarm you, but it seems that we have travelled into space. Now nobody-- ah, nighttime, nighttime again.
Unlikely Lines From A Blockbuster Movie[]
HD: We are a race of superintelligent beings who come from Uranus. Why is everyone laughing?
AB: Welcome to the Hunger Games, or as it's also known, London Fashion Week.
EG: The only way to defeat the evil clown is by turning him off then on again. This is I.T.
EA: Look, Rose, the way I see it, the ship is sinking and we're all going to die. So... bum stuff?
HD: Joker: A comedian becomes psychotic because people don't find him funny. Just a little warning, that's all.
SV: Fast and Furious: The story of what happens to sex in marriage.
HD: (in a stuffed-up voice) No, of course I'm not Mad Max, not with this cold. I'm Lemsip Max!
RJ: Gah! Shit, that hurt so much! God, I hate living in Lego World!
EG: There's only one superhero who can get into this frozen meal. Leave it to Thor.
RJ: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius-- Sorry? Yes, I did go to private school, how did you know that?
EA: "Dude, where's my car?" "I traded it in for a bike!" "Oh, piss off, Greta."
EG: I don't like to call it the one ring, I like to call it an unexpected item in the Baggins area.
AB: I think this could be the beginning of a very beautiful friendship. Look, he sent me a dick pic.
EG: Woody, Buzz, you're not the only toys that come to life. I belong to Andy's mum, and my name is Rampant Rabbit.
RJ: You want to know why they call me the Riddler? It's because all of my partners are riddled with STDs.
EA: I got this role 'cause Romesh couldn't make it. (walks off, then heads back to the mic) I got this role 'cause Nish couldn't make it!