The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions of the eleventh episode of the nineteenth series.
EG: Ed Gamble
MA: Maisie Adam
AS: Ahir Shah
GM: Glenn Moore
HD: Hugh Dennis
AB: Angela Barnes
Things You Wouldn't Hear In A History Documentary
AB: Well, I'm afraid due to CGI budget constraints, this series of Walking With Dinosaurs is just... this. (Hugh walks like a dinosaur in the background and squeals)
- EG: I'd love it if you cut Angela's and just left that in.
EG: I'm professor Robert Winston and you join me at the Royal Albert Hall in the search for a legendary artifact. This is Hitler's Other Ball.
GM: (chanting) Henry, the Secretary of State during the Nixon administration sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G... E-R.
EG: And in ancient Greece, they used to put a coin in dead bodies' mouths so when they got to the afterlife, they could get a trolley.
AS: Now, unfortunately, we don't know anything about this period of history because someone pulled down one statue of a racist.
MA: It's February and my boyfriend won't let me put the heating on. This is the real cold war.
GM: (moving his arm back and forth, like he's hammering) And I'm delighted to be the first museum animatronic of a blacksmith to host a history documentary.
EG: And this inhabitant of Pompeii used his final seconds to hold up a sign that says "All TV historians are dicks"-- Right, which one of the camera crew did this?
GM: Before his victory in 1066, he was known as "William The".
AS: The Bronze Age: The third-best age.
MA: Now as we all know, the Battle of Hastings occurred in 1066-- Oh my god, that's my PIN number-- oh, shit, is this live?
HD: This has been described as dinosaur poo, and that's one of the best reviews of this history programme.
AS: Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived: We've all got our own way of remembering the Sugababes.
MA: After treating the body and wrapping it in bandage, they travel home and pretend they've had nothing done in Turkey.
AB: Now, the ancient Egyptians believe that the sun crossed the sky in a golden chariot, fucking idiots.
AS: Welcome to another documentary about the Nazis. How have you not made your mind up?
EG: The Black Plague was actually ended by the Great Fire of London so you join me setting fire to a 5G mast.
Unlikely Things To Hear On The Radio
AS: You're listening to Radio 3. Well done.
AB: I like AstraZeneca, it drives really well. You're listening to Motoring Today on Dip FM.
HD: And now a documentary in which we look at the outmoded sexual morays of the Carry On films. This is Radio Phwoar.
GM: And now, it's chilled-out relaxing songs to send you off to sleep here on Drive Time.
EG: You're listening to Jazz FM: It's about the listeners we don't have.
AB: You're tuned in to the number one most listened to radio station in the UK right now today: it is hospital radio.
MA: That was this week's number two. God, I feel three stone lighter.
AS: And this week, still at number ten-- he's still at Number 10.
GM: And in about 15 seconds time, we'll be coming towards the end of the minute's silence.
AB: And as we approach the summer months, my advice is just to shave it all off. You're listening to Lady Gardeners' Question Time.
AS: 0800, it's going to be under your neighbour's wheelie bin. This is the Hermes shipping forecast.
HD: And now, Gavin Williamson tells us how to run a major government department in I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.
EG: Oh dear, a lot of angry callers today. Let me say, if you want to talk about the Premier League there is a place for you to go, but if you want to chat about your love of fortified wine, join us here on Talks Port.
GM: Today's call-in topic is "What do you do if your phone is broken?" No one's got in touch so far, but...
EG: And for the next two hours on LBC, it's white noise: Nick Ferrari.
MA: Now people say the days of pirate radio and rock and roll are over, but I'm here to bring them back. I've had two Lemsips, here's Scouting For Girls!
HD: Here are the news headlines: Nothing's happened yet, it's four in the morning. Go back to bed.
EG: Today's phone-in is about anxiety at work. Do you ever feel that when you're doing your job, there's five people waiting behind you ready to take their place?