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The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the first episode of the nineteenth series.
Key[]
TA- Tom Allen
AK- Athena Kugblenu
RJ- Rhys James
NN- Nigel Ng
HD- Hugh Dennis
AB- Angela Barnes
Topics[]
Commercials That Never Made It To Air[]
NN: Do you have a crippling addiction to masturbation and biscuits? Try working from home.
AK: This sofa is full price.
RJ: Wanna get compliments on how much weight you've lost? Buy a massive pair of trousers and stand like this all the time. (pretends to stretch his pants while giving a thumbs up)
HD: If you like clouds and you like oceans, we've got both: Sky Atlantic.
AK: Eight out of ten cats prefer your neighbor's house. Cats are traitors.
AB: Fire in the hole! Try Canesten.
TA: We sell our turkeys in wooden coffins so that you can pretend it's a funeral and have 30 people 'round for Christmas.
HD: This advert cost hundreds of thousands of pounds to make. Please don't skip it in three, two, one-- You fucking bastard!
RJ: Bat soup, the delicious taste of six months off.
AB: AirBNB: Yes, that is your sofa in that porn film.
NN: There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, there's theft.
TA: Please, please buy our product, we really need you to buy our product, we're gonna go under if you don't buy our product. We are Corona lager.
RJ: Superdry, conveniently named after the effect wearing it has on women.
HD: Ryanair: Not just an airline, it's also the name of our cheapest sandwich. (pause) Rye and air.
AK: (visibly pregnant) Poundland condoms: You get what you pay for, yeah?
RJ: Rhys James: 'Cause Ed Gamble's busy.
Unlikely Lines From A Sci-Fi Movie[]
RJ: We're gonna have to put Gotham City into lockdown. Someone ate Batman.
NN: Luke, I am not your father, but I can be your daddy.
HD: Don't worry, we've put you in cryogenic suspension to make the journey more bearable. It's amazing technology, but it does make Megabus slightly more expensive.
RJ: Okay, prep the rice chamber. Someone dropped R2D2 in the toilet and I want to piss off Nigel.
TA: Everyone, set your devices to stun... because I've got this fabulous new hat!
AB: Luke, I am your father. Well, I'm Boris Johnson, so the odds are pretty good.
NN: How can we tell you're not a robot? Hold up. Which of these squares contain a traffic light?
AK: "We come in peace." "Yeah, that's all very good, but we've got a points based immigration system. Can you pick fruit with your tentacles?"
AB: Oh no! It took my eyes! I can't see! But I'll just drive to Barnard Castle, make sure.
HD: I don't care if you are a Dalek, you have to check in with the app!
RJ: The overlord is pure evil and he just doesn't care! He knows that every time he presses his buzzer, a child dies!
AK: "I just can't do it, Captain! I don't have the power!" "You're in neutral."
TA: E.T., just text home. Nobody phones anymore, you're so embarrassing.
HD: I tell you what, I just got it. Rye-and-air.
TA: Okay, I'm going to beam myself down to the surface of the planet. Ow, it's so hot, it's hot, it's molten hot! Why didn't anyone tell me?!
RJ: Sorry, don't "honey" me. You've shrunk the kids?
AB: Master Luke, I'm afraid the ship's crew have refused to go any further until they have had smashed avocado on toast. I knew we shouldn't tried to go home in the Millennial Falcon-- fuck!
RJ: The crew refuse to go home until they've had avocado on toast. We shouldn't have-- Oh, I can't do it either! You know what? It's harder than it looks, and I've gained a lot of respect for you, Angela.
HD: Ryanair.