The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the second episode of the nineteenth series.
EG- Ed Gamble
MA- Maisie Adam
EA- Eshaan Akbar
SD- Sophie Duker
HD- Hugh Dennis
EB- Ed Byrne
Unlikely Lines From A Thriller
MA: You're not gonna believe what they've done! They've bleached the Minions! (Dara: My joke! My joke!)
EB: (miming shuffling cards) Care for a game, 007? Dinosaur Top Trumps?
HD: We've put charges here and here. No one will be able to get into Central London without paying.
EG: I won't let you die on me! So I'm just gonna roll you onto the floor, you can die down there.
SD: "Should I cut the red wire?" "No, Bond, it's just my tampon."
HD: You want a quarter of a million pounds now and another quarter of a million when the job is done? Come on, mate, it's only a boiler.
EG: We are gonna find this so-called blowjob killer and when we do, he's going down for a very long time!
SD: "It's gonna explode at any minute!" "Well, it's your daughter's nappy, you change it."
HD: (in a Russian accent) The British secret service may have M, but we have someone twice as good: Eminem (M&M).
EA: The first rule of Fight Club is scan the QR code on entry.
MA: Look, we can't talk for long because we're both female characters...
EB: Vodka martini, shaken, not-- Actually, this is my sixth one, so I don't give a fuck if you make it in a blender.
HD: It goes off in ten seconds, you will never stop me. Oh, you've put it on snooze.
EA: Look, it's really tough out there because of the pandemic, so we're gonna have to put you on furlough leave on 80% of what you're worth. So 007, you're now 005-point-6.
EB: I don't know which wire to cut! Look, this is my first vasectomy!
EG: What's the cause of this death? Well, I think a lot of this blood is supposed to be inside his body.
EB: Mr. Bond, I am a high level government advisor. Don't assume I'm going to sleep with you just because my name is Breasty Lovecock.
Unlikely Things To Hear In A Nature Show
SD: Now we see the fastest predator on land: Prince Andrew running from American lawyers.
EG: And as I watch these birds begin their mating ritual, I know that I'm really making full use of my PornHub subscription.
HD: I cannot believe it. Someone has bleached the Minions.
EB: Sperm whales: Could they be the reason the sea is so salty?
EA: Here is the Indian elephant being asked by its mother why it hasn't met a nice girl yet.
SD: The mighty bear emerges from hibernation. Time to get back on Grindr.
MA: The male snake will shed its skin up to 12 times a year, all because it thinks moisturizing is a bit girly.
EG: As of 2020, the global population is 7.8 billion people, and you're still single.
EB: The Serengeti, home to absolutely shitloads of animals!
EA: Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we can now translate what these penguins are saying into English. Let's listen in. (in a high voice, walking like a penguin) Bloody hell, it's cold!
EG: The owl's head can rotate 720 degrees before coming off in your hands.
EB: I mean, just look at that massive fucking herd of elephants!
HD: It is over. The hippo has won and the flamingo retreats because frankly, he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
EB: Just look at all those rhinos! Endangered, my hole!
MA: Well, it turns out a bull in a china shop wasn't as dramatic as we thought, but join us next week when I'll be putting a cat amongst some pigeons.
HD: At just three microns, it is almost invisible to the human eye. Yep, I've got a tiny penis.
EB: (in a dull tone) And in the first episode, we're gonna be taking an intimate look at how it builds its dams. Yeah, I'm as disappointed as you. Anyway, welcome to Inside The Beaver.