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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Series 4
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Series 5
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Series 6
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Series 7
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Series 8
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2010 Sport Relief Special
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Series 9
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Series 10
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Christmas Special
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Series 11
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Series 12
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Compilation Episode
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Series 13
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Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
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Series 14
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Series 15
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Christmas Special
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Series 16
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Series 17
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Christmas Special
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Series 18
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Series 19
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Series 20
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The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the seventh episode of the nineteenth series.

Key[]

EB: Ed Byrne

SO: Sukh Ojla

GM: Glenn Moore

RJ: Rhys James

HD: Hugh Dennis

LL: Laura Lexx

Topics[]

Things A Sports Commentator Would Never Say[]

GM: Oh, and he's just finished the race in just under two hours, a grueling finish to the hundred meters and a very disappointing performance from Captain Tom.

SO: And congratulations to my mum who's taking home the gold medal for passive agression.

EB: And there he is, he's crossed the line, that jockey has just won the Grand National, he must feel five feet tall!

RJ: And there we have it, we finally know who has won the Ashes. Some said a tombola at a funeral was inappropiate, but it's what she would have wanted.

HD: Well, with three 6s like that in a row, you have to ask "Is Satan the one day batsman England have been looking for?"

GM: It's 2046, welcome to the opening ceremony of the Tokyo 2020 Olympics!

EB: And Hamilton has the lead and look how excited his dog is.

LL: Tonight, we have coverage of the England men's team.

HD: Well, that is a wild throw in the javelin, that is huge, very difficult to tell where that javelin's going. Where is that jave-- (falls to the floor, as if the javelin just pierced him)

SO: And he's reaching and he's almost got it, and yes, Harry Potter has the golden snitch. Of course he has, the smug prick.

RJ: And that is exactly why they call him "a fox in the box", a great finish followed by shitting and screaming.

HD: Well, that was a very delayed decision on VAR, but yes, Geoff Hurst's goal did cross the line.

EB: Oh, and that's a firm backhand, although I like to try reasoning with the staff.

GM: What's the name of the guy taking the penalty? Can you find out-- Oh, it's gone in! Goooooooooo-- scored by I still don't-- oooooaaaaaallllll!

LL: Liverpool in their away costumes there, just making their way backstage for the interval.

RJ: And what a fascinating end to the snooker, he went red, then blue and then the ambulance arrived to take him away.

EB: Andy Murray there with a soft lob. Happens to the best of us.

HD: And as the lights go out for the start of this nighttime Singapore Grand Prix, the drivers shout "Please turn the lights on! We can't see a fucking thing!"

Unlikely Things To Hear On A Property Show[]

GM: Now, this next property's got a bit of a showbiz sparkle. Now, do you know David Tennant? Well, the guy he played, Dennis Nilsen, used to live here.

EB: Now, an excellent way to check if it is a load-bearing wall is to knock it down and see what happens!

HD: Storage is often a problem, but not for me. I am Kevin Mc iCloud.

SO: And, of course, you've got the extra room, you know, thinking about the longer term if you want to married and have babies, if, you know that's something you're interested in...

HD: This week on Location, Location, Location, we're in Basingstoke, Basingstoke, Basingstoke.

LL: Next up on BBC London, we've got Escape to the Country, and on BBC Somerset, it's Defend The Village From Townie Buggers!

RJ: Now, this clever couple swapped their tiny one-bed for a south-facing detached 426-bed by simply moving to Bensons for Beds.

GM: Now, we have had a couple of issues with the garden. We've managed to clear away most of the Japanese knotweed, (begins to sink) but I don't know how familiar you are with quicksand.

RJ: After this millennial couple stopped buying posh lattes for an entire year, they had saved enough money for one massive latte.

GM: And there's also the option of a fire in the living room if you need the insurance money.

HD: Well, I asked the vendor what he thought of your offer and he told me to shove it up your arse.

EB: And we've been able to convert this one-bedroom flat into a three-bedroom flat just by putting a bed in the kitchen and the toilet.

SO: Ah, I see you've put a cellar on your must-haves. Is that because you're alcoholics or perverts?

HD: John has always wanted to convert a lighthouse but the project has been on and off for years. (Ed groans and says "Get out!")

LL: This week on A Place In The Sun, we feature a couple who speak a second language and buy the house.

RJ: Now, you said you wanted to be near a school. How many little ones do you have? Okay, how many are you expecting to have? I'm going to have to call the police, sir.

EB: Of course, we're not sure if they're serious buyers, but when they're finished having a shit, we'll ask them.

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