The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the third episode of the third series.
Ill Advised Things To Say In Court
- AP: How could she have seen my face? I was wearing a balaclava!
- FB: So, to summarise there is no evidence, but he does look a bit rapey.
- JC: Your Honour, that wig looks really gay.
- HD: Your Honour, if you's like I've got the number of a really good Brazillian cleaner.
- MW: Well, if stabbing a man makes me guilty, I'm guilty!
- FB: I'd like to present my own defence, through the medium of dance!
- JC: So, if I'm found not guilty, can I keep all the stuff I've nicked?
- FB: And I put it to you, m’lud, that that child is sexy!
- RH: Oi, wiggy! I done your daughter!
- FB: I was performing the Heimlich manoeuvre, but it turned into the wheelbarrow position.
- HD: (in Mexican accent) Will this take long? I'm meeting a boat from Columbia at 9.
- FB: There is a precedent for this, I refer, your Honour, to Episode 10 of L.A Law.
- HD: And let me say this, sentencing you will give me an overwhelming sense of sexual pleasure! (deep voice) SEND HIM DOWN.
- FB: Like a lot of people watching this Olympics, I too am wondering why black people don't take over the world.
- HD: There's the bell, and the schoolgirls I've been spying on go back to the classroom!
- FB: I can't be the only person here wondering what it would be like to shag that gymnast!
- JC: So, here we are from Wembley.
- HD: So, with 3 furlongs to go in this Grand National, let’s leave the leaders and go watch the fallers being shot.
- AP: And they're off! They're off! They're off and I should probably keep my voice down, as this is the snooker.
- HD: Oh, forehand, backhand. forehand... don't you just love it when they grunt?
- FB: Just reading through the names of this Chinese team is making me hungry!
- HD: And for those of you who missed them, here are next week's Italian football results!
- FB: This woman isn't just a world-class curler, she's also a model.