- HD – Hugh Dennis
- AP – Andy Parsons
- FB – Frankie Boyle
- RH – Russell Howard
- GY – Gina Yashere
- EB – Ed Byrne
Lines That You'd Never Hear In a Bond FilmEdit
- FB: Ingenious, Q: it's a bomb, but it's also a rucksack
- HD: Oh James, what a wonderful gift: chlamydia
- GY: My name is Bond, Mohammed Bond
- FB: Everything's ready for your mission, Bond: all you need to do is fill in this health and safety risk assessment
- EB: (as Blofeld, stroking his cat) Mr Bond, have you ever kissed a man?
- FB: You're very good at poker, but let's see how you do on the fruit machines
- AP: Here's you're new car, Bond: a Ford Focus
- FB: I'll have an egg roll, scrambled not boiled
- AP: Let's me get this straight. There's an evil tyrant, at the top of a mountain, surrounded totally by armed guards. D'you know, I don't fancy it
- FB: It's not just a baseball bat Bond, it's a baseball bat with a nail through it
- HD: Oh James, is it meant to be this soft?
- EB: They're getting away, we'll get after them in this pedalo
- FB: We'd better slow down, there are speed cameras
- HD: I hope you're not going to be one of those Russian agents whose name is just a cheap sexual pun, Miss Suckmeoff
TV Shows That Never Made It To AirEdit
- FB: The boy whose arms and arse and head fell off
- GY: He robs from the rich and the poor, it's Robin Hoodie
- FB: And now the magic of Britain's parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents Gaywatch
- HD: And now on BBC2: Jack Straw's What Not To Wear
- RH: I'm Wayne Rooney, and welcome to Grannies do the Filthiest things
- FB: Welcome to Blind Date, with me: Stevie Wonder
- HD: And now on BBC1 it's the senile dementia show, "Where do you Think You Are?"
- EB:This week on "Who do you think you are?", Prince Harry traces his family tree, with some surprising results
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