The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the fifth episode of the third series.
Lines That You'd Never Hear In a Bond Film
- FB: Ingenious, Q: it's a bomb, but it's also a rucksack.
- HD: Oh James, what a wonderful gift… chlamydia.
- GY: My name is Bond, Mohammed Bond
- FB: Everything's ready for your mission, Bond. All you need to do is fill in this health and safety risk assessment.
- EB: (as Blofeld, stroking his cat) Mr Bond, have you ever kissed a man?
- FB: You're very good at poker, but let's see how you do on the fruit machines!
- AP: Here's your new car, Bond: a Ford Focus.
- FB: I'll have an egg roll. Scrambled, not boiled.
- AP: Let me get this straight. There's an evil tyrant, at the top of a mountain, surrounded totally by armed guards. D'you know, I don't fancy it.
- FB: It's not just a baseball bat Bond, it's a baseball bat with a nail through it!
- HD: Oh James, is it meant to be this soft?
- EB: They're getting away! We'll get after them in this pedalo!
- FB: We'd better slow down, there are speed cameras
- HD: I hope you're not going to be one of those Russian agents whose name is just a cheap sexual pun, Miss Suckmeoff.
TV Shows That Never Made It To Air
- FB: The boy whose arms and arse and head fell off.
- GY: He robs from the rich and the poor, it's Robin Hoodie!
- FB: And now the magic of Britain's parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents Gaywatch!
- HD: And now on BBC Two: Jack Straw's What Not To Wear.
- RH: I'm Wayne Rooney, and welcome to Grannies Do The Filthiest Things!
- FB: Welcome to Blind Date, with me: Stevie Wonder!
- HD: And now on BBC One it's the senile dementia show, "Where Do You Think You Are?"
- EB: This week on "Who Do You Think You Are?", Prince Harry traces his family tree, with some surprising results.