Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 4, Episode 2

Scenes We'd Like To See Category · Infobox Series 1 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 Full list of scenarios Series 2 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 Full list of scenarios Series 3 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 Full list of scenarios Series 4 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 Full list of scenarios Series 5 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Full list of scenarios Series 6 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Full list of scenarios Series 7 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 Full list of scenarios Series 8 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 2010 Sport Relief Special Full list of scenarios Series 9 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Full list of scenarios Series 10 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 Christmas Special Full list of scenarios Series 11 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 Full list of scenarios Series 12 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Compilation Episode Christmas Special Full list of scenarios Series 13 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Compilation Episode Christmas Special New Year's Eve Special Full list of scenarios Series 14 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Full list of scenarios Series 15 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Christmas Special Full list of scenarios Series 16 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Full list of scenarios Series 17 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Christmas Special Full list of scenarios Series 18 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 Full list of scenarios Series 19 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 Full list of scenarios Series 20 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 Full list of scenarios Templates Link to an edition of the round Link to a specific scenario TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the second episode of the fourth series.

Key

• HD – Hugh Dennis
• AP – Andy Parsons
• FB – Frankie Boyle
• RH – Russell Howard
• IS – Ian Stone
• MW – Mark Watson

Topics

Unlikely Lines To Find In The Bible

• AP: And Paul was on his way to Damascus, when he got hit by a helicopter gunship.
• FB: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth... This is the weirdest car boot sale I've been to.
• MW: Anyway, I'm rambling on...
• AP: He's not the Messiah, (audience joins in) he's a very naughty boy!

• HD: And God said, "Let there be light." Sponsored by Powergen.

• FB: A man who lies with another man should be stoned. It helps, that's all I'm saying.

• IS: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

• MW: And God said, right, that's the 14 commandments, now will you remember all those? (RH: That's very good.)

• HD: Table for 12, Jesus? I can do two 6's at 8:30.

• FB: And on the eighth day, God created a magic talking leopard, and forgot all about us.

• AP: And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers for Justice.

• HD: It rained for forty days and forty nights, although Thames Water still had a hosepipe ban.

• FB: St Paul's third epistle to the Corinthians: "Dear Corinthians, I've written to you twice now, no reply. I don't know how you do things in Corinth, but where I'm from, that's a bit rude!"

Bad Things For a Teacher To Say

• AP: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
• HD: You know the rules, Thomas, if you forget your PE kit, I take the lesson in my pants.
• AP: Hello, I'm Mr. Glitter.
• FB: You're all going on the school trip, but if any of you have ever watched the news, you know that you won't all be coming back.
• HD: Good essay, nice hooters.
• FB: We've all had a hard time since Sharon went missing. I, for example haven't been able to use my basement.
• AP: No, Karen, we don't want a fat Mary.

• FB: Are you chewing, boy? This is the worst blowjob I've had all day!

• RH: I don't know the answer, Watkins, I just do this job for the holidays!

• FB: It turns out you're not dyslexic, you're just really, really, stupid.
• MW: It's you're own time you're wasting, not mine. I pissed my life already!
• FB: Today's game of "Head's Down, Thumbs Up" begins with the sound of my zipper.

• HD: I have been at this school for over forty years. I buggered your fathers and I will bugger you!
• FB: There's only one "A" on your report card, Thompson. It's from the school nurse and it stands for "AIDS".