- HD – Hugh Dennis
- AP – Andy Parsons
- FB – Frankie Boyle
- RH – Russell Howard
- SK – Shappi Khorsandi
- FM – Fred MacAulay
Rejected Lines From Movies
RH: E.T phone premium rate sex line!
FB: Milk, bread, Rich Tea biscuits...are you sure this is this the right list, Mr. Schindler?
AP: There are 50,000 Zulu outside, now tell Jade to get back inside and keep her bloody mouth shut!
HD: (Austrian accent) This T-1000 cybernetic organism has encountered a problem and needs to close. Do you wish to send an error report?
RH: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. But on weekends, Majorie.
FB: A census taker tried to test me once. I ate his liver with some fish fingers and a bottle of Jacob's Creek.
SK: Goooood morning, Cheltenham!
HD: Well there's one thing I should tell you Mr. Darcy... I have chlamydia.
AP: What, Rambo? You want to wait for a U.N resolution?
FM: (Southern English accent) You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off, Ibrahim!
FB: (American accent) Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. But thank you for phoning the BT helpline.
HD: (impersonating Darth Vader) Luke Skywalker... I am your mother!
Unlikely Excerpts From a Nature Documentary
AP: D'ya see this little fella here? (points to hand, then smacks it)
HD: I'm having to whisper, because this woman's husband is in the room next door.
FB: This beautifiul hummingbird... is no match for my squash racket.
FM: And I'm having to whisper, because the bear has got me in a headlock.
FB: Penguin, with his head trapped in a beer can. Tragic, and yet somehow hilarious.
AP: I'm stood here in the jungle, in my bath robe... because my luggage is still at Heathrow.
RH: Welcome back to "Pimp My Hippo"!
AP: And here we have two insects... shagging away... phwoaaar!
FB: Out of the water climbs a majestic otter, who turns-- oh no, it's a dog.
AP: And yes, the lion's after the impala, and the lion's got the impala! TUCK IN MY SON! LION 1, IMPALA NIL!
FB: (Australian accent) I'm the ghost of Steve Irwin, and welcome to "Animals Kill the Daftest Bastards!"