The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the first episode of the seventh series.
Things You Wouldn't Hear From a Weather Forecaster
- HD: The Met Office have issued a weather warning. They've told the weather not to do that again or there'll be trouble.
- FB: Temperatures could rise to 31 degrees- SHIT, I'VE LEFT MY BABY IN THE CAR!
- RH: A hurricane tonight will be caused by low pressure, and God’s hatred of homosexuality.
- FB: A huge depression over Scotland, and now the weather.
- FS: And finally, a warning to hay fever sufferers: Don't come sneezing near me or I'll rip your face off.
- HD: So here's the summary: Monday shite, Tuesday shite, Wednesday shite, Thursday bollocks.
- AP: The humidity's rising, the barometer's going low. Tonight, for the first time, just about half past ten... it's gonna start raining men.
- FB: Yeah, it looks bright for the weekend. I've got three grams of coke in my pocket and my wife's on holiday.
- HD: Well let's go to Carol on the roof of Television Centre. She's not meant to be there, she's just a bit depressed.
- FB: This part of the country is gonna stay hot and wet for quite some time, because that's where my girlfriend lives. Oh, yeah!
- HD: So, it's gonna be between 17 and 21, but Berlusconi won't date older than that.
- RH: It was raining cats and dogs last night. I should know; I was throwing them off my roof.
- GY: What you watching me for? Look out the fucking window!
- FS: It's gonna be cloudier tonight. I love those German birds.
- FB: What do you care what the weather's gonna be like? You look shit in all your clothes!
Deleted Lines From Star Trek
- HD: Kirk to Enterprise. Okay, how about if I stand over here? (moves)
- FB: HALUMMAHAMNEBALHEMNEHUMBAHA. Scotty, that's the most convincing your accent has ever been.
- FS: (imitating steering) Captain I can see an alien ship approaching, it's not showing up on the radar. It's a circular vessel, some sort of lettering and number- Oh no sorry it's m- it's my tax disc.
- HD: I have no emotion. My mother was a Vulcan, my father was Gordon Brown.
- RH: All right, which one of you ate my scotch egg?
- FB: This is the Federation of Gay Planets. Open your docking bay and prepare to be boarded.
- RH: Say what, Spock, your towel is a lot softer than mine.
- GY: Captain's log: Just seen some aliens OMG WTF LOL smiley face.
- FB: Who are these terrifying aliens? You can't call 'em that anymore, Captain, it's Uhura and Sulu.
- HD: (with a strange voice) Velcome to ze S.S.Enterprise, Mr. Ecclestone!
- AP: Now which one of you put your red top in the washing with all the yellow ones?!
- RH: There's gonna be some changes around here. They call me Captain Tatty Bojangles.
- FB: What's wrong, Captain Picard? WHAT'S WRONG?! I'M A SERIOUS SHAKESPEARIAN ACTOR AND I'M TALKING TO THE AMBASSADOR OF THE FUCKING WORM PEOPLE!