The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the third episode of the seventh series.
Deleted Lines From a Fantasy Film
- RH: I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, the heir to Isildur and part of the Fellowship of the Ring. Please leave a message after the tone.
- FB: Ron had been suffering from swine flu and people were avoiding him. Luckily, he was ginger and he was used to it..
- HD: I don't know why you're so upset, Harry. The original Dumbledore died three films ago and no one gave a shit!
- RH: Did you find Narnia in the wardrobe? No, Edmund, we found your porn stash.
- FB: My friends, we will never hear the words Mordor again. Taggart has been cancelled.
- LP: No Harry, it's not a five headed dog, it's Girls Aloud!
- HD: I am Aslan, formed by the merger of Asda and Matalan.
- FB: We had only been there for a day but to us it felt like 15 years. That's Birmingham!
- HD: Did you honestly think I could be defeated by someone younger? I...AM ARLENE PHILLIPS!
- AP: Welcome to Mordor. Twinned with Swansea.
- GD: (Embracing LP) This will never work, Frodo.
- FB: In the wardrobe we found a magical compartment that led to the Fritzl family.
- RH: He stole it from me, my precious, my... oh, no, it's in my pocket.
- GD: Alright John, how's it going? Alright? Yeah, how's the kids? Alright, see you later.
- FB: I'm not a dwarf, I'm a lesbian!
Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Flatmate
- FB: That's my milk in the fridge, I squeeze it out of my tits with a vice.
- AP: No we can't share the electricity bill. I've got a phone charger and a laptop, and you're on a life support machine!
- FB: My last flat was just like Friends, have you seen The One Where Joey Kills Everybody?
- HD: I love talking to you, with you I can... (growls) be my real self.
- RH: There's just two of us, well three if you count God.
- GD: I'd give it ten minutes in the toilet if I were you, that one could talk.
- FB: Well if you don't think I'm a nosy bastard, why did you write that in your diary?
- LP: Oh that, that's just a novelty shower gel in the shape of a webcam!
- RH: Hey, you said there wasn't enough room to swing a cat, look at this... (Imitates swinging a cat) Loads of room!
- HD: Oh, er, a Mr. Jihad called, he says it's time.
- FB: I don't see why I should pay for half the loo roll when I never use any!
- HD: I tell you what, that Hoover is powerful.
- FB: Okay, there's one certain way to find out who ate my "yoghurt": An AIDS test.