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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 19
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13
Full list of scenarios

Series 20
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

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TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the sixth episode of the seventh series.

Key[]

Topics[]

Bad Things To Hear At The Psychiatrists[]

FB - I don't want you to think of me as a psychiatrist. I want you to think of me as a mental patient who killed a psychiatrist before you got here.

HD - You think you are a potato? On the couch, please.

EB - Welcome to your first session of Freudian analysis. What seems to be the penis?

FB - Well you say that you're paranoid, but I have a report here that says you looked very relaxed in the bath this morning.

AP - Oh yes, I can see why you fancy your mother. She's something of a fox.

RH - I see you've tried to commit suicide five times. Your dad was right, you are useless!

FB - You've been coming here for six months to talk about your trust issues... while we've been filming you for Britain's Nuttiest Bastards!

HD - Yes, I think your parents caused you problems from a very early age, Clitorina.

SF - Your thoughts that you're horrifically unattractive are all in your mind... Mister... Johnson?

RH - Okay, word association. I'm going to say a word and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your breasts.

EB - Wow, th- that's really interesting. Do you mind if I use some of this stuff as lyrics for my band?

FB - You have emotional problems and a below average IQ. I'm prescribing Hollyoaks.

EB - Oh, that's a classic dream. It means you're a paedophile.

RH - I want you to go to your happy place. Judging by the size of you, that's probably Greggs.

FB - Hypnosis could certainly help with your intimacy issues. While you were unconscious I rested my nuts on your head.

Unlikely Things To Hear On a TV Talent Show[]

FB - 2007's winner Leon Jackson is still selling records... at his Saturday job at HMV Paisley.

SF - Of course it's not a freak show! Now get your Siamese twin asses on that stage and you nail "Papa Don't Preach"!

FB - Two crosses light up and the crowd cheers as... Stavros Flatley are crucified in flames.

RH - (Yorkshire accent) Hello! I'm Rita, I'm 87, and I'm gonna do keepie up with me boobs! Hey, I'm like bloody Ronaldo, look at me go!

EB - Okay you're right, I don't really have any talent. But I'm kinda cute. I'm Kylie Minogue's sister for God's sake!

FB - What a hilarious singing dog... Susan Boyle is.

HD - When you- when you said you were going to saw a woman in half... I thought you were a magician.

EB - Oh, my family aren't going to believe it when they see me on TV. They think I'm dead!

AP - Hello, I'm Susan Boyle, and I would like to say hello to my brother Frankie. (waves)

FB - Susan Boyle is not related to me. None of my relatives will ever manage to chisel their way out of that cellar.

HD - I am an escapologist. Today, I have escaped from Broadmoor!

FB - Next on ITV4 is ITV3's coverage of ITV2's Making Of documentary about the coverage on ITV4.

AP - Hello, I'm Billy Cock, and this is my partner, Brian Balls, and together we are... Billy and Brian!

RH - Behold, my magical racist cat! (Mancunian accent) "They come over here, they steal our bloody jobs, Meow! I'm not havin' it!"

FB - That was a beautiful song... until you fucking sang it!

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