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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 16
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 17
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 18
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 19
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13
Full list of scenarios

Series 20
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Templates
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Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the eighth episode of the seventh series.

Key[]

Topics[]

Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear At Work[]

  • SW: Oh! Oh you've already given Michael his dosage... (squints his eyes and puts his teeth on his lower lip)
  • FB: It's not a photocopier, it's a shredder, and what've you done to your arse?
  • RH: (Mancunian accent) So, you probably want to know how I got the nickname "Dog Botherer".
  • AP: Imagine that! My first day at work, and I appear to have slipped on a wet floor! Hmm, I think I might be entitled to compensation!
  • FB: D'you mind if I leave early, I've got to pick up the kids.. before their parents get there.
  • HD: He's the CEO, he's the COO and I'm head of the agricultural division, the CIEIO.
  • FB: Now, I want you all to put down those football boots that you've been sewing, because I've heard that it's somebody's very special 11th birthday and we've got you a photo of a cake! (singing to the tune of Happy Birthday) Han chawaa ho chong waa, han chawaa ho...
  • HD: Don't worry, this isn't the first operation I've done, last time I got always the whole way 'round before the buzzer went off.
  • RH: We've run out of semi-skimmed, so I've topped your coffee up with breast milk.
  • FB: What do you mean it's not your turn to make the coffee? This is fucking Starbucks!
  • FM: Get off, you're shit!
  • HD: Whoops! Heh heh, this air traffic control thing's not as easy as it looks!
  • FB: I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK IN A LIBRARY! IF ONLY I COULD READ!

Unlikely Things To Hear On a Property Programme[]

  • FB: Next, Cash in the Attic: Tennis player Pat Cash has a nervous breakdown, and decides to haunt his estranged family.
  • HD: Today, we help Al-Megrahi swap his one bedroom cell, for a Libyan Place In the Sun!
  • FB: This couple's grand design, is to turn an abbatoir into an old folks' home by changing the sign.
  • RH: I'm Sarah Beeny and I'm not pregnant.
  • AP: You can't decide between the two properties? Well, you're an MP! Why don't you claim for them both?
  • SW: *gibberish*
  • FM: The thing is, I have actually heard that in a property programme in Scotland. And remember, the prices of property can go down, as well as plummet.
  • FB: You know I said "Those ghastly beams, what on earth are they for?" It turns out, they were for holding your house up.
  • RH: (posh accent) Hello, I'm Laurance Llewelyn-Bowen, and I am so posh I have actually got a swan for a penis.
  • HD: Michael has always wanted to live in the country. And now he does. His business has collapsed, and he's living in a caravan in field in Herefordshire.
  • FB: Even on a collapsing market, you can still make money form a flat like this. We've invited three different estate agents to come and evaluate, then harvested their organs.
  • AP: Welcome to this episode of Homes Under The Hammer where we attack Eamonn Holmes with a hammer.
  • RH: Next on Location, Location, Location, Kirstie and Phil finally go at it like dogs.
  • SW: And obviously this will all be included in the-- dear oh my god he's back early - QUICK, OUT OF THE GARDEN!
  • HD: Well, we've visited five properties so far, but they've all had alarms, so no joy there.
  • FB: Very spacious and with wonderful views, but this flat is in Dundee, so it might as well be built out of shit.
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