The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the eighth episode of the ninth series.
Unlikely Lines To Hear In a Kids' Film
- AP: Oi! Shrek! Have you been upsetting Coleen again by shagging those prostitutes?
- EB: Garfield, what are you doing in that bin?
- SF: ET, I'm pregnant.
- HD: Where's Nemo? Look inside the batter.
- AP: I'm terribly sorry, I'll just put my clothes back on. I thought you said "Chitty Chitty Gang Bang".
- MF: Mr Von Trapp, I'm here from the council, we've had complaints of some terrible singing coming from your house.
- HD: So he asked all five of you if you would like to look around his chocolate factory, did he?
- MJ: Mary Poppins, I arrest you on suspicion of supercalifragilistic sex trafficking.
- HD: King Of The Swingers, nice to meet you. I'm King Of The Doggers.
- MJ: Wow Nanny McPhee, that was not the big bang I was expecting!
- AP: I am Bambi, son of a murdered mother, husband of an endangered doe, and I will have my vengeance in this life of the next!
Things You Wouldn't Hear In a Cookery Show
- SF: (imitates tasting food) No no, that's definitely poodle.
- AP: Today, I've brought along Chicken Tonight, but I'm gonna have it tomorrow. Smash the system.
- HD: So finally, just pour on the milk and there you have it. Cereal.
- EB: And remember, you must eat the brain to get their power.
- MJ: A lot of people recommend washing your hands after handling raw meat, but it's just as easy to let a dog lick them off, or wipe them on a relative.
- MF: Gordon! Gordon! Relax! We're doing a bit of dinner mate. We're not sorting out the Middle East here.
- HD: So just boil for 15 minutes, and if there's still life in her, she's a witch.
- AP: Welcome to "It's Late And There's Not Much Left In The Fridge". Today, we're gonna be making onion double cream banana pasta ketchup.
- SF: The, uh, the unique flavour of the sausages is from a recipe from my missing- my wife.
- MJ: So, if you want to give your bar snacks that genuine pub feeling, why not sprinkle them with urine?
- EB: I'm Jamie Oliver and in my new series i'm gonna be travelling the length and breadth of the UK in a VW Camper. Welcome to Cock-o-Van.
- HD: And believe me, these fried insect legs really are the bee's knees.
- AP: Today, I'm going to be making prune and sweetcorn chick-pea couscous because I like to give my bowels a challenge.
- MJ: Next, the ginger pudding. Anthony Worral Thompson, what're you going to be cooking for us tonight?
- AP: So, I've been beating away for half an hour. But I'm just lonely, let's get on with the cooking.