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The following is a guide to '''Scenes We'd Like To See''' topics and suggestions made in the 
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fourth episode of the seventeenth series.
 
 
== Key ==
 
* '''HD '''- [[Hugh Dennis]]
 
* '''AB''' - [[Angela Barnes]]
 
* '''MJ '''- [[Milton Jones]]
 
* '''DB '''- [[Desiree Burch]]
 
* '''EB '''- [[Ed Byrne]]
 
* '''GM '''- [[Glenn Moore]]
 
 
== Topics ==
 
 
=== Unlikely Movie Trailers ===
 
'''HD '''- Stay at the Chigwell Holiday Inn. Essex plumbers for all your plumbing needs. Visit our beautiful forest. Three Billboards Outside Epping.
 
 
'''GM '''- (American accent) Autocorrect: The Movie. Out knob in a cinema near you’ll.
 
 
'''MJ '''- (American accent) Coming soon: A man in a loincloth who lives on top of a Christmas cake. Tarzapan.
 
 
'''GM '''- Coming soon to an illegal streaming site near you: Jurassic.ParkHDCamJapaneseSubtitles.MP4.
 
 
'''DB '''- Coming soon: the harrowing tale of women standing up to harassment through illegal street racing in Me Too Fast, Me Too Furious.
 
 
'''HD '''- Trainspotting 2. We spotted 2 trains.
 
 
'''AB '''- This summer: Captain America, Hulk and Iron Man sing Kumbaya, while Thor shows you his new hammer in Avengers Assembly.
 
 
'''GM '''- This cinematic remake of Swan Lake is so powerful, but it broke a man’s arm.
 
 
'''EB - '''Coming this summer: The sequel to La La Land: Po Land.
 
 
'''AB '''- Jesse Eisenberg is Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network 2. This time, it’s personal. Data.
 
 
'''GM '''- She was a Hollywood actress in a sorted version of Snog, Marry, Avoid. Winona Ryder: Win, Own or Write Her.
 
 
'''MJ '''- A Welsh thriller. (Welsh accent) The Dragon With The Girl Tattoo.
 
 
'''DB '''- Coming soon: a man who’s been announcing it for the past three minutes... just do it already.
 
 
'''EB '''- Coming this holiday season: The bug-eyed guy with the clarinet in the canteen in the first film: A Star Wars Story.
 
 
'''HD '''- (American accent) Tonight: see six people work their arses off, while one man just sits in a chair.
 
 
'''MJ '''- The following movie contains scenes of a cup of tea. It is rated PG.
 
 
'''GM '''- “I thought you said you couldn’t drive!” “I never said I couldn’t drive, I said up until recently, I wasn’t allowed!” Fast and Furious 9: Saudi Arabia Drift.
 
 
=== Things You Wouldn’t Hear On A Cookery Show ===
 
'''AB '''- You can of course make your own pasta, if you’ve got too much thyme on your hands, you pretentious prick!
 
 
'''HD '''- Well, while we’re waiting for the rice to cook, that will take another five or six minutes, I’m going for a poo.
 
 
'''MJ '''- (Scottish accent) I used to be one of those chefs that shouts and swears a lot, but then I discovered oven gloves.
 
 
'''GM '''- Today, I’m using a Smeg fridge, which is like a normal fridge that I don’t clean regularly enough.
 
 
'''AB '''- If you’re having trouble whopping them into stiff peaks, have you tried gently cupping their balls?
 
 
'''EB '''- (drunk voice) Hello and welcome to “Cooking After You’ve Come Home Pissed”! Tonight, we’re doing a Cup-A-Soup that’s slightly going past it’s best before date, but it tastes a bit better if you put some HP Sauce in it!
 
 
'''GM '''- Now, try not to drizzle too much oil on the lamb, or it will wriggle free and escape.
 
 
'''MJ '''- I don’t know about you, but I really love upside-down pineapple cake, or as Australians call it, pineapple cake, or as Australian pineapples call it, (Australian accent) “The cake of death!”
 
 
'''HD '''- Well, I enjoyed this meal so much when I had it in a Parisian restaurant, that I asked the chef what it was called, so, this is my own version of “Fuck Off English!”
 
 
'''AB '''- Mmmm, these ginger nuts are soft and chewy and I can’t stop going back for more, and the rest of the honeymoon is pretty good too, Love Meghan.
 
 
'''DB '''- Mary Berry is quite critical of this soggy bottom, but to be fair, in this kind of heat, it’s kind of unavoidable.
 
 
'''EB '''- (worse drunk voice) Welcome to another edition of Cooking When Pissed! For this one, you need to stick it in the oven, turn it up to 190, have a nap. When the smoke alarm goes off, IT’S DONE!
 
 
'''HD '''- Well, you may be wondering what is the perfect accompaniment to a Scotch egg. Simple. Scotch sperm.
 
 
'''GM '''- Now, my wife absolutely loves street food but, that’s probably because I married a pigeon.
 
 
'''DB '''- Now, normally for this recipe, I like to use pork lardons, but my producer doesn’t listen, so I spent the entire morning making some pigs very happy.
 
 
'''MJ '''- So today, I’m going to be making banana wine, and I’m going to be pressing the skins with my bare feet! (slips)
 
 
'''EB '''- (even worse drunk voice) THIS WEEK, we’re going to be making a very difficult dish, which is the potato waffle that fell out of the packet months ago, and has been stuck in the ice. We’re gonna be using a very sharp knife!
 
 
'''GM '''- Hello, I’m Nigella Lawson, and welcome to the non-innuendo cookery hour, where we’ll be teaching you how to cock, cook, dick, wank.
 
 
[[Category:Scenes We'd Like To See]]
 
[[Category:Scenes We'd Like To See]]

Latest revision as of 18:43, March 4, 2020

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