Mock The Week Wiki
Episode 3
Title Series 1, Episode 3
Host Dara Ó Briain
Left team Jo Brand
Hugh Dennis
Frankie Boyle
Right team John Oliver
Rory Bremner
Al Murray
Result Hugh and Frankie's team won
Episode guide
Previous Series 1, Episode 2
Next Series 1, Episode 4

The third episode of the first series was first broadcast on the 19 June 2005.


Team Guest #
Hugh and Frankie's team Jo Brand 2nd appearance
Rory's team John Oliver 2nd appearance
Al Murray 1st appearance



  • J.F.N.G. – Jackson Found Not Guilty
    • JB: Jackson's Face Needs Grouting.
    • HD: Jackson Finds Nose Gone.
    • FB: Juvenile Fears Now Grow.
    • AM: Jury Found in Neverland Garden
    • HD: Jackson Found Near Grimsby.

ck Between The Lines[]

Hugh Dennis tells us what Michael Howard (Rory Bremner) is really saying.

  • RB: At the last election, we had a remarkable result
  • HD: We lost
  • RB: It was a tremendous achievement
  • HD: We lost really badly
  • RB: But there's still a lot of work to be done
  • HD: Bye, then
  • RB: I'm much too old to lead the Conservative party
  • HD: Kenneth Clarke is much too old to lead the Conservative party
  • RB: I've laid out a sensible timeframe for my departure
  • HD: I must be back before sunrise
  • RB: We all know that there were problems with the previous selection for the leader
  • HD: Ian Duncan Smith
  • RB: This time I hope we'll have a free and a fair fight
  • HD: I'll stop David Davis if it kills me
  • RB: We need to focus on our core priorities
  • HD: Can anyone remember our core priorities?
  • RB: And then we'll be able to go forward, unite around a new leader, and triumph at the next election
  • HD: Not even I'm thinking what he's thinking

On The Spot[]

David Blunkett Transport Charity Crime Europe
Rory Bremner Frankie Boyle Jo Brand John Oliver Hugh Dennis & Al Murray

If this is the answer, what is the question?[]

Home News
  • Answer: Ridiculously Large
  • Question: What kind of bids did people make on eBay in order to sabotage Live 8 ticket touts?
  • JO: Describe Britain's chances of winning the Olympic bid with the least appropriate phrase possible?
  • RB: How big is the average American?
  • JB: What is the name of Eddie Large's new baby?
  • RB: How big was the benefit of the doubt the jury gave Michael Jackson?
  • HD: How would my arse look through a telescope?

European News
  • Answer: Very Difficult
  • Question: How did Tony Blair describe negotiations between France and Britain over the European Union?
  • JB: How do you frown when you're Anne Robinson?
  • HD: How does Wayne Rooney find thinking?
  • FB: Have you ever tried to shag a kestrel?
  • JO: Jack Straw enjoys basic level sudoku puzzles. What level of sudoku puzzles does Jack Straw tell people he enjoys
  • AM: How easy is it to set fire to a swimming pool?

Ask The Politicians[]

  • DÓ: Host
  • RB: Tony Benn
  • HD: A Tory spokesman
  • AM: Voice for the silent majority
  • FB: Member of the audience
  • JO: Member of the audience
  • JB: Member of the audience

Scenes We'd Like To See[]

Main article: Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 1, Episode 3
  • Bad ways to start a party political broadcast.
  • Things you'd never hear a French person say.
  • What the voices in Tony Blair's head are saying.

External links[]

Mock the WeekSeries 1 Episodes
Episode 1 · Episode 2 · Episode 3 · Episode 4 · Episode 5 · Episode 6