Mock The Week Wiki
Episode 28
Title Series 5, Episode 2
Air date 19 July 2007
Host Dara Ó Briain
Left team Mark Watson
Hugh Dennis
Frankie Boyle
Right team Andy Parsons
Jo Caulfield
Russell Howard
Result Hugh and Frankie's team won
Episode guide
Previous Series 5, Episode 1
Next Series 5, Episode 3

The second episode of the fifth series was first broadcast on the 19 July 2007.


Team Guest #
Hugh and Frankie's team Mark Watson 5th appearance
Andy and Russell's team Jo Caulfield 2nd appearance



  • C.S.I.P. – Conservatives Slide In Polls
    • FB: Cunt Seen In Photo
    • FB: CSI: Portsmouth (Crime Scene Investigation: Portsmouth)
    • HD: Cameron's Strangely Invisible Policies
    • AP: Conceited Shallow Inbred Prat
    • FB: Cameron Shits In Primark
    • RH: Cherie Shits In Purse
    • FB: Cock Slip Impregnates Panda
    • FB: Catholic Schools Invented Paedophilia
    • AP: Cameron's Sushi Included Polonium
    • HD: Cameron Slips In Polls
    • AP: Cameron Slump In Polls
    • MW: Conservatives Slip In Polls
Green indicates unbroadcast suggestions released on the first Too Hot For TV DVD.

Between The Lines[]

Hugh Dennis tells us what David Beckham (Frankie Boyle) is really saying to LA Galaxy fans.

  • FB: I'm glad to have this oppurtunity to let you know what I'm thinking
  • HD: (stares blankly)
  • FB: It's great to have left Real Madrid
  • HD: I hate Poland
  • FB: I've bought a house in LA, right by the big HOLLYWOOD sign
  • HD: I'd love to know what it says
  • FB: Brooklyn has settled in well at an American school
  • HD: He shot someone
  • FB: My wife knows how much I love her
  • HD: I sent her a text by mistake
  • FB: I was suprised to learn that I was wanted by Scientology
  • HD: I didn't know they had a team
  • FB: Tom Cruise's wife Katie is always advising us to buy more staff
  • HD: She keeps sending me notes saying "Get help"

Spin The News Bottle[]

Identity Theft Terror Threat Drugs Celebrity
Mark Watson Jo Caulfield Andy Parsons Frankie Boyle

If This Is the Answer, What Is the Question?[]

  • Answer: 250,000
  • Question: How many Beckham replica shirts are LA Galaxy already claiming to have sold?
  • JC: The amount of Iceland dinners the robbers took from Kerry Katona's house
  • AP: What world ranking is the British tennis number 5?
  • FB: How many calories in a Scottish salad?
  • MW: What position did I finish in the 1987 Henleaze School sports day obstacle race, because I got stuck in the sack, but it didn't traumatize me at all, I don't even care now
  • AP: If you phone up British Telecom what position in the queue are you likely to be?
  • FB: What percentage of people failed O level maths?

Too Hot For TV answers:

  • FB: How many volts does it take to give Stephen Hawking an erection?
  • MW: How much of a dickhead is Victoria Beckham out of ten?
  • FB: Of all the fan mail she receives everyday, how many letters does the actress Kirsten Dunst simply put into a file marked "Sexually Menacing"?
  • RH: How much does Bill Gates earn whilst defacating?
  • FB: How many people starred in the Chinese version of "The Magnificent Seven"?
  • FB: The invention of an invisibility cloak would lead to what rise in annual sex offences?

Scenes We'd Like To See[]

  • The worst thing to hear over a tannoy system.
  • Unlikely lines from the final Harry Potter book.

External links[]

Mock the WeekSeries 5 Episodes
Episode 1 · Episode 2 · Episode 3 · Episode 4 · Episode 5 · Episode 6 · Episode 7 · Episode 8 · Episode 9 · Episode 10 · Episode 11 · Episode 12